feedback

as a culminating paper for a class this semester, i had to write as many words as i wanted on the program, courses, and internship component.

and now, for your reading pleasure, i present to you:

a review of the last 8 months of my life just shy of 4,000 words.

note: names have been changed.

This feedback paper reviews each semester followed by comments on how the semester should have been structured from my perspective and where the program needs to improve. The internship placement is reviewed and how the course material can be applied to the internship and future endeavours in the sustainability industry. The paper concludes how the internship placement should be carried out next year to set the Green Business Management program apart from other environmental and sustainability post-graduate programs.

Semester One

In the first semester, the program requires students to take five courses: an introduction to sustainability, development theory, eco-productivity, corporate social responsibility, and green marketing. I began the program with optimism for interesting course material, great teaching styles, and a working internship placement.

GBM702: Sustainable Development: Yesterday, Today, and Tomorrow

Dr. Naveed taught this course. The format of the course was no different than any other; two “debates”, a midterm, and a case study presentation. We had readings most weeks that rarely anyone completed – and we were honest about not reading them. I graduated with an Honours Bachelor of Arts degree in Tourism and Environment which focused on sustainability for four years and also graduated from a Graduate Certificate in Project Management – Environmental. I was well immersed in the sustainability concept but was still required to take the course.

I expected that admissions would accurately judge the backgrounds of the students entering into the program and place them into the courses which made sense, rather than placing those with an environmental education into an introductory course. I couldn’t understand the logic behind this, especially when the professor teaching openly admitted to not having much of a background in sustainability. However, it was too late into the semester when I was told that I likely could have been exempt from the course for “advanced standing.”

Many of us purchased two expensive textbooks for the course. One textbook was used for the assignments and the other textbook was used one time for a reading then tossed aside. Dr. Naveed was adamant that we would use the textbook again, but we never did. A positive to the course was a guest speaker from the Marketing department at Steam Whistle Brewing who explained the organization’s sustainability initiatives that help to reduce costs and waste. A skill I can take away from this course and apply to the internship at The Globe and Mail is public speaking through the debates and case study presentations.

GBM701: Development Theory and Sustainability Models

Jim ran this course exceptionally well. Although there was very little “teaching” involved, Jim offered a format for the course and feedback when needed. We had summaries of learning material due every week that allowed for reflection on a different level, from both what Jim had taught or through the guest speaker’s material. The majority of the course was structured through self-learning around broad topics that let the students decide the direction of the topic, whether in teams or individually.  The course was split into two sections – a group paper and presentation and an individual paper and presentation.

Jim’s vast network of industry leaders was helpful in the learning process and in the internship search for a few of us who were in need of a placement. We were able to see real people in the sustainability industry making change happen, as well as job positions and openings in these organizations. Although I am unsure if Jim taught other post-graduate classes previously, his initial 8,000 word individual paper as a final project for the course during exam week was not the best idea. Many of us struggled with the grading of the course, even when the paper was reduced to 5,000 words. Several classmates expressed that they had never written a paper of that length and with the amount of workload from the remaining courses during that time period, 5,000 words was a definite setback.

The addition of Bob Willard to guest lecture an entire class was a nice treat and I have been using his theories as the basis for many of my projects throughout the year, both in The New Sustainability Advantage and The Sustainability Champion’s Guidebook. Again, despite Jim’s best efforts, the take away from this course relevant to The Globe and Mail is enhancing public speaking skills and the ability to network with industry professionals. The research involved with the two papers is indirectly applicable to The Globe and Mail but could be utilized on the Green Team for research on waste and recycling initiatives. “Development Theories & Sustainability Models” is a course name that needs to be modified. Since the course was self-directed, Jim taught a very limited amount of theories and models – such as systems and structures governing – but made attempts to reiterate these concepts at every chance.

GBM701 Eco-productivity in the Workplace I

This was the pre-requisite of two courses taught by Brett, one in the first semester and one in the second semester. Brett discussed the concepts of the 7 green wastes and demonstrated how to give sustainability a monetary value in order to receive attention from organizations and CEOs. I found this course to be the most valuable to me, as previously I had never viewed sustainability theory in a business sense for reducing costs and maximizing profits. This course would have been more valuable if my internship components didn’t fall through and I was able to use information from the organizations for the assignments, rather than Brett’s assigned case studies.

Brett’s classes were an open dialogue of ideas and discussion. His assignments placed value on effectiveness in time management, reporting, researching, presentation skills, and PowerPoint presentations. The midterm and final assignments in the course could be directly applied to The Globe and Mail’s operations in their current state of green waste and the future state to demonstrate solutions of where the organization could reduce costs to increase profit using sustainability initiatives.

GBM704: Corporate Social Responsibility and Business Ethics

Bob's course on Corporate Social Responsibility was an interesting concept with the end goal of the course to complete a CSR report for your partner company. This would have been a great opportunity and project to undertake if each student in the program had a working internship by the time the final project was completed. Unfortunately, this didn’t happen and several students, including myself, were forced to complete a case study CSR report or team up with other students with their partner company. This course would have been more effective if there were deadlines for each section of the CSR report, rather than the finished report amounting to 80% of the final grade in the course.

Bob stated that there isn’t one company in the world that is ISO26000 compliant and that made me wonder why the course is being offered in the Green Business Management program if no organization is interested in using ISO26000 certified CSR reports. I’m sure that this course will be an addition to my resume – to say that I can complete an ISO26000 certified CSR report, if necessary. However, since I did not have my internship set up by the end of the course, I was unable to use data related to The Globe and Mail. The information in the CSR report is something The Globe and Mail could have used for their organization’s current state. We are also still waiting on the grades from this course to ensure we can graduate from the program. Spending an entire semester on a course where the final project is worth 80% of the grade and not knowing whether you have passed the course can lead to a few anxious students hoping to graduate in April 2013.

GBM802: Green Marketing and Consumerism

Margaret was the professor of this course. GBM802 had a good concept and a solid textbook which made up for lectures that were a bit vague at times. The course was to use internships to overlap projects and assignments, making an attempt to gain more experience and real-world application with the courses and internship placements. The first paper was based entirely on the internship company for the year. The remaining assignments were meant to do the same, except when internships fell through and I, once again, was required to partner up with a colleague to complete the projects.

This course covered a variety of topics in marketing and business that could be useful for The Globe and Mail or other organizations who desire a sustainable marketing plan – which I can now complete for them. I found the course to be interesting but when classes are back to back in a two and a half to three hour span (nearly totalling six hours of straight class), minds tend to wander and the focus is no longer present. This course will be a stepping stone to help me begin an entry-level career in sustainable marketing activities if I’d like to go into that job direction.

Conclusion of Semester One

The underlying notion of the Green Business Management program emphasized a working internship where students could gain real world experience in the sustainability industry at various partner companies. When internships fail due to administrative errors or communication breakdowns, students are at a loss at what to do and continue the program missing out on opportunities in applying internship data to projects and assignments.

If the program coordinator is to place students at companies accordingly, the program coordinator should ensure that those company supervisors are aware of every detail of the internship, including the schedule (one day a week), the student’s workload in other courses, the student’s knowledge of sustainability, the student’s prior work and education experience, and what the student is to gain from interning at the company. The internship company should also let the program coordinator and student know exactly what the projects will be to complete, specific timeframes for completion of projects, and demonstrate flexibility and empathy with the student, as the internship is a learning opportunity.

Each professor in the first semester had a different way of teaching; some taught from textbooks, some taught very little, some had specific formats and page lengths for assignments, and some had minimal project specifics. Each professor also had a different policy for submitting assignments in hard-copy or soft-copy format. In a sustainability program, one would assume that nearly every assignment submission would be via email or Blackboard. Unfortunately, this did not happen as much as I would have liked.

What each of the professors had in common was the end of semester workload, which sent most students into a sleep deprived state for about two weeks. Seeing as how Green Business Management is a part of the Faculty of Business at Seneca College, one would assume that professors have a better understanding of time management. This would not the case. A balanced workload throughout the semester for each course would have been extremely beneficial for both students and professors.

Relating to time management is the horrible scheduling of first semester. Seneca College is a commuter school and students in the program commute many hours in order to get to class. This was extremely tough at times for those who lived far away from campus and had to deal with traffic and bad weather to arrive on time for an 8am class, and only one class for that day. I would have preferred a schedule with several classes in a day (just not back-to-back scheduling) to maximize the time at which I am commuting and on campus. Several classes in a day forces students to get to know each other outside of a classroom setting which allows the program to bond, growing as a group together. I felt GBM did not develop to its full potential until late in the semester due to these scheduling conflicts.

The program should have scheduled a feedback focus group in the first semester. This way, key professors and colleagues would be aware of the program’s faults and where they cold improve for the second semester. This would also give students a chance to speak their minds critically about the program as a whole and offer solutions to challenges faced throughout the first semester.

Semester Two

In the second semester, I was enrolled in the second eco-productivity course, sustainable leadership, ecopreneurship, and sustainable business plan. I was exempt for “advanced standing” in Margaret’s second course, GBM703: Sustainable Management.

GBM800: Eco-productivity in the Workplace II

Brett’s second course has been, so far, structured about the same as his first course. It continues to place monetary value on sustainability and includes more calculations for a carbon footprint, part of one of the projects I’m working on at The Globe and Mail. Finally, I’m able to use information from my partner company in the assignments for the second semester, upon starting at The Globe and Mail in January 2013. The Globe and Mail can benefit from these projects to reduce waste and improve profits.

Brett incorporated a few guest speakers this semester, including Bob Willard and employees from the Ministry of Environment. Originally, there was a discussion earlier on in the semester about a “field trip” to Evergreen Brickworks. However, I think due to inclement weather, holidays, course material, and scheduling conflicts, the field trip is not happening. This is unfortunate as I think hands-on learning and out-of-the-classroom learning is a great way to gain experience in the sustainability industry. Brett also talked about writing the GHG emissions exam to become GHG certified – something that would set the program apart from other environmental and sustainability post-graduate programs. I don’t think that went ahead either. I think the certification is a great idea and hope that it can be part of the curriculum for next year’s students.

GBM801: Sustainable Leadership

This course was the best course of the entire program, taught by Michael. The open dialogue and discussion format of the course worked so well. The readings every week were interesting and relevant to the course material. I believe that self-awareness is critical to success and that Michael demonstrated this through his lectures and assignments.

The course gave the opportunity to connect our placement companies through every reading, assignment, and discussion – and by the second semester, each student had a working placement until April. Reflecting each week on my internship placement organization kept me grounded in the projects I’m working on at The Globe and Mail. Reviewing the employees and culture at The Globe and Mail and my experiences as an intern to the readings in the course was an excellent way to learn about leadership styles.

GBM803: Ecopreneurship

Peter openly announced to the program that he has very little background in sustainability, yet is teaching an entrepreneurship course that focuses on sustainability. The main project is a semester-long fake sustainable business from inception to implementation to pitch and beyond. I imagine this would be a better course suited to actual business or entrepreneurial students rather than Green Business Management. It is not in my plan to begin my own business even though the group project has both negative and positive aspects to it.

Submitting a business plan on the fake business meant that two business plans were to be submitted for two different courses with two different professors and each professor not wanting the same format or layout. The business plans were also submitted following each other in two weeks. This made it difficult to understand what parts were actually required in writing a business plan.

Following the 40+ page hard copy business plan was the implementation plan: a 100+ page hard copy document of every government, bank, and marketing form a business needs to start. This did not go over well with Green Business Management students. The final project is a marketing blog, virtual trade show, and “Dragon’s Den” type pitch to “investors.” I’m looking forward to the pitch as what I’ve learned from the entire program so far is that sustainability is all about selling yourself and what you plan to do for the organization so that they buy-in. I enjoy my fake business idea and hope that one of the investors will buy into it as much as I have throughout the semester. However, the only take away from this course is the pitch – since pitching ideas and proposals to The Globe and Mail is important for success and employee buy-in.

The name of the course “Ecopreneurship” needs to change. Whoever designed the courses and course names needs to understand that putting “eco,” “green,” or “sustainable” in front of a course name doesn’t make it a “sustainable” course. Call it what it is – entrepreneurship. Not every course name needs to reiterate sustainability if the program and underlying concepts of each of the courses are actually about sustainability.

Peter helped students with their cover letters and resumes. He brought a different perspective into the course by utilizing networking, social media, and technology. He offered insightful tips for job interviews, as well as new social media websites that are on the rise. I’ve never had a professor so technologically and social media oriented, so that was a nice change.

GBM804: Sustainability Business Plan  

As previously mentioned, this business plan was entirely different compared to Peter's business plan. Michael's version was to keep it short and simple – the shorter, the better. I think the idea of the course was to stress proposals to organizations for sustainability initiatives, but I doubt that if I were to contact The Globe and Mail and/or The Globe and Mail’s Green Team outside of being a student intern at the organization, a proposal presentation would not go over very well.

The course didn’t have much “teaching” and was possibly meant to be self-directed. Class time was never used appropriately. I believe the course has potential to be an excellent addition to the program curriculum if it is taught by a professor in the sustainability industry with a background in writing business plans. At least, this new professor may be able to offer a sustainable business plan template for the internship placements (even though there are too many to choose from). Again, this course suffers from awful course naming, as there was very little “sustainability” involved in the course. I like the idea of the capstone paper and I hope it offers insight into where the program needs to be improved in future years.

Conclusion of Semester Two

Semester two experienced many of the similar problems as Semester One. Class scheduling was still terrible. Commuting to campus for early 8am classes was now Tuesday to Friday and dealing with the winter weather did not help. Classes for me were once a day for almost three hours. This meant I was commuting two hours a day for three hours of class. Professors with little to no interest or background in sustainability were teaching courses in the program. Course names were misunderstood and confusing. Professors continued to want hard-copy and/or soft-copy versions of projects and assignments. Professors had terrible time management and piled on the workload once again in the last two weeks of the semester, rather than trying to balance the coursework over the semester. Many of these problems could have been avoided with a simple feedback session at the end of the first semester.

Most of what I’ve learned during both semesters can be applied to the job title I’m hoping to get in the future as a sustainability project manager. Brett’s courses will be extremely valuable to selling sustainability to organizations and Michael's leadership course will help me continue to develop as a great manager and leader in the long and short term. Working on business plans and carbon footprint reporting at The Globe and Mail will add to my resume list of tasks I can complete for any organization, as well as sustainable marketing plans, ISO26000 certified corporate social responsibility reports. Every course enhanced my presentation and public speaking skills which are valuable for my future endeavours in the sustainability industry.

Internship Placement

In the beginning of the program, I had an internship placement set up at Metrolinx. I was happy and excited to start at the placement with a partner classmate. Eventually, there was a communication breakdown between the Metrolinx supervisor, the program coordinator, my partner, and myself. What Metrolinx was asking for and what my program coordinator was asking for were always two different tasks. By the third discussion with Metrolinx and first on-site internship day, it was impossible to understand exactly what the organization wanted and how we were supposed to carry out what they wanted, since we were just beginning the program. My partner and I were overwhelmed with Metrolinx and decided to end the internship.

This sent the two of us scrambling for another internship and left to our own devices to find a suitable placement. After weeks of searching for a placement and continuing to come up empty handed, I was thrown into The Globe and Mail as a second intern. However, by this time it was nearing the end of the first semester and I didn’t actually start the placement until January 2013.

I believe that many of us in the program enrolled in the program to gain first hand, real world work experience as part of the internship. Several internship placements failed during the semester for one reason or another and left students without a working placement for weeks or an entire semester. Some internship companies were located extremely far away for students. These internships were picked by the program coordinator – students were unable to choose their placement unless the one chosen placement for that student had failed.

Since the internship placements play such a large role in the program, they should be set up and confirmed immediately within the first month of the program. The placements should be required to know exactly what it is they are getting into upon signing up with the program. Instead of spending one day a week at the placement, students should be able to spend two or three days a week on-site at the internship, with the rest of the time during the week devoted to class. One day a week at a large or small organization does not work well for productivity and students do not gain any insight into the company’s environment and culture.

All placements should be located within the TTC and GO Transit lines to be accessible for all students inside and outside of the Greater Toronto Area. This is especially important for students who do not drive and their only means of transportation is by public transit. Students should have the ability to choose their own placement and ensure that the placement is somewhere the student wants to intern. The companies should allow students to work on environmental and sustainability projects that relate to the program. The placements should also be flexible in providing data and information for course-related projects and assignments, if possible, to enhance the learning experience.

Alternatively, I believe the internship placement could be modified entirely. I would change the internship to be extended throughout the year. The internship could remain as one day a week at a placement, followed by a full-time summer (paid) employment at the company for 3-4 months. I think this is the best route and would set the program apart from all similar post-graduate programs at universities and colleges. This would also help many students secure entry-level positions directly after the program is completed.

pilot project

my education has been an ongoing series of pilot projects over the course of seven years.

i'm not kidding.

1) brock life 

i started university at 17. my interests after high school included english/writing, environment/sustainability, and general activism. no doubt, all of these things made me decide that going into hearing sciences made the mot sense (did you catch the sarcasm? good.) hearing sciences at brock was going to end with a BA in humanities. because a "science" program was humanities. what else does brock list as programs under the faculty of humanities? classics, english, philosophy, music, drama, history, liberal arts, visual arts, canadian studies... and so on. yep. still makes perfect sense.

hearing sciences required physics, biology, and chemistry. i took biology in summer school in high school. i'm awful with numbers. of course, i struggled. i excelled at my linguistics courses but failed both physics and biology. i didn't have to take chemistry until second year of the program, if i made it that far. i could change into speech and language sciences instead (it's similar but without the "science" component), but i didn't like that idea. i didn't even like what my supposed end result was going to be for hearing sciences. so, upon the end of my first year (being at least 2 courses behind), i changed my major to a program that had just started the same year i entered university: tourism and environment.

tourism and environment (TREN) was a social science. i heard about the program from a guy i met, drunk on residence one night. he only had good things to say about it. i had the ability to choose core courses and electives, of which i made an attempt to minor in writing, but the shortage of courses in writing made that nearly impossible. TREN really caught my eye. the professors stood out and the department was small. by my fourth year in university, i had grades high enough to embark on a study abroad program to new zealand with 8 other TREN folks. we got lucky that year, as the shortage of core courses for TREN and professors to teach them were the worst they had ever been so far in the program. i gained the allotted amount of courses needed for the year while in new zealand for 3 1/2 months (which didn't come cheap.. but was well worth it).

in my fifth and final year of TREN, i wrote a research project with 3 other TREN folks which received attention on all levels. not only did we end with one of the highest grades ever given in the research course, but the praise and encouragement from our department and professors was unreal. talks about publishing in journals were underway. the TREN department offered all graduating students to give feedback on where the program needed to improve for the future. if only they had done this in the beginning or halfway through so we could have changed everything we didn't like.

i decided i was going to apply to masters programs. my research project advisor (the one who gave us the grade) kept telling me he wouldn't write me a reference letter for my application to a masters because my "grades weren't good enough." well, fuck. so, i applied to a few post-graduates at colleges that had something to do with the environment. and in september 2011, i was toronto bound.

2) seneca, round 1 

i got into a post-graduate certificate program called project management - environmental (PME). it was only in it's second or third year when i started. i was stoked because it had an internship and the majority of my classmates didn't have any work experience, like me. but, if you've been keeping up with this blog at all, you'll know how much i struggled with such an unorganized program and terrible professors. i learned some stuff but i'm still unaware of how it will benefit me in the long run. this runs true when one of the people interviewing me last year was concerned that i was trying to steal his job, being that i had the education to be a "project manager." sigh. yes, i'm gonna take your job with no work experience. THEY TOOK YER JOB!

a classmate in PME told me about the program she was in last year, called green business management (GBM). it was also a post-graduate certificate. when i looked into it, it definitely had more of a sustainability and environment focus rather than PME - which seemed to focus on... service? civil? government? law? actually, i have no idea what PME was centred around. i think that kind of sums up the entire program, right there. confused. the department offered us a chance to give feedback on the program and where to improve. and oh, we gave it.

i applied to GBM and got in right away. i hoped that i wouldn't have to return to school in september 2012 and that i'd get some job for at least the summer of 2012. that didn't happen, so back to seneca i went.

3) seneca, round 2

i hoped things would be different. they weren't. i quickly realized that it wasn't exactly the department or faculty's fault for having terrible programs; it was seneca not actually caring about their graduate students. GBM was only in it's third or fourth year when i started. again, my classmates were in the program to gain real-world work experience through the internship. and fuck, we all know how that's turning out. i'll give you a hint: it's not well. it seems as though most days after class ends, my program gets together and bitches about all the things that went wrong and things that need to change in the short and long-term. there are five weeks left in the program, and most of my classmates still sit there with a confused look on their face, wondering what it is that these professors are trying to teach.

i'll admit that there are 2-3 professors that i highly enjoy and make their classes a wonderful learning environment. and yes, they are much better than the shit i had to deal with in PME. but there are still so many things that need to be improved. when i looked online at the newly improved PME program this year, there were a few course changes. but when talking to current PME students, it seems that most of them are still facing similar challenges as my year did.

7 years of post-secondary education. 3 different programs running as supposed pilot projects. i finish GBM in 5 weeks. i'm tired of school and i'm tired of offering feedback on how things would be better.

somebody hire me so i can get out of this school bubble and start the real world. 

#internshipproblems

i never took the job from home depot.

i'm finding it difficult to have motivation to callback loblaws who have been after me for a couple of weeks now to set up an interview because i don't want a shitty, part-time job. and also, i just don't have the time for it.

since reading week ended, i've just been on the go nonstop. school is kicking my ass (but i'm still half-assing basically everything and rocking a 4.0 GPA. don't ask how; i have no idea).

i left my internship at metrolinx and realized i could never survive in an office environment with too many ridiculous, condescending people. i was overwhelmed and stressed out, which never happens. i just didn't know how to deal. i had no words. and i shouldn't have any words when i'm giving out free labour to a company that doesn't know what they want out of their free labour. asking questions got me no where and lead to aggressive responses that were completely uncalled for. not to mention, the issues with space for me being on site and the limited access to information for what i needed to do for them, eventually.

it just wasn't worth my time. and my coordinator didn't exactly make the issue any easier. i decided to use my own connections, networking, contacts, and cuteness (c'mon, you gotta give me that one) to talk to a bunch of companies and organizations that would appreciate an intern of my caliber. i got really far in a few companies who i'm still waiting to reply back (but, being around the beginning and middle of november, almost every internship placement won't start again until december or january). and i assumed that i would be without a placement until january. i was cool with that until i got a strange email.

i received an email from the globe and mail, one of our original program internship placements, saying that my coordinator had selected me as the second intern for their placement. i was thrown off by this because my coordinator hadn't said a word to me about this happening -- and then proceeded to let it slide until i approached her about it. and that pretty much settled it; i had to throw the majority of all the people i was talking to about becoming an intern at their organization under the bus. uhhh, thanks for playing, but my coordinator decided my fate without telling me and now i look like a fucking asshole and have ruined my name if i ever wanted to actually work for those companies.

god damnit.

so, now i'm an intern at the globe and mail, getting to work alongside a wonderful dude from my program. and i guess that's a plus. but there's just so much more i wanted out of this internship which is not even worth any course credit. it's just an addition to the program. i met with globe and mail this past friday and they're going to help me get set up. but, there's only 3 weeks left in the semester and i told them not to rush things. i'll just focus on my remaining schoolwork and start fresh in the new year. and then i'll be counting down the days until i'm finished and not returning to school in september.

2 terrible years of grad school are enough for me, i think.

between the click of the light

it's reading week!

already?

yeah, i definitely needed a break. i've been swamped for too long.

i meet my internship placement tomorrow at metrolinx. y'know, just presenting myself and what i'm going to do for them over the next 6 months in front of all of the executives and department leaders. not a big deal or anything! to be clear: i'm not nervous about failing at this, i know i'm going to be fine. i'm in an excited state of nervousness.

more good news! 

i failed to mention this in my last blog post, but sometime at the end of september or early october, i received an email from my undergrad thesis advisor. she told me that my thesis was accepted to be presented at a conference in may at ryerson, the international journal of arts & sciences’ (IJAS) international conference for academic disciplines! this was super exciting! i worked so hard on my thesis at brock that i'm pretty sure it's the greatest thing i've ever done with my life.

also, i was selected as a candidate for an upcoming huffington post canada article on commitment issues, not settling down, and not wanting to buy a home in the next few years. they're doing a spotlight on generation y kids versus generation x -- and i was selected from my comments on previous huffpost articles, twitter, and my blog. i guess people are starting to notice me via social media these days and it's paying off.

more sort of.. neutral news.

i haven't started at home depot for reasons that i can't understand. i've spent a couple days commuting to them to drop off information and fill in forms. last week when i dropped in to see them, they had invited me to an orientation session the next day but failed to inform me of this until as i was leaving. well, they can't expect me to just stop everything i'm doing and come in for them. i was scheduled to go to a conference that weekend (which, i didn't end up going to) but it was also my birthday party i had been planning for a month. i mean, i was mostly concerned with the conference happenings, but still.

so after the weekend, they call me back and ask me to come in on wednesday to fill in and sign more paperwork. i say yes and wednesday morning, they call me and tell me not to come in because the manager's unavailable or something. then, i think the next day or something i call them back to set up a new time and she says that she'll have to look into my availability and see if it still fits in with what's needed. uhh, what? i'm confused. so she said i would hear from them again on friday or monday. i guess we'll see what happens tomorrow.

after all this running around and making it difficult for me with home depot being in the middle of nowhere from both school AND home, i'm leaning toward being okay if they tell me they aren't going to use me anymore. because i'm so swamped with school and now have a general idea what my internship is going to be like (time-consuming and a lot of work); i almost feel like not working is a viable option unless it's within a closer distance to me and significantly less hours than what home depot wanted. also, reading reviews of home depots everywhere just made me not want to work for them even more. i didn't read a single positive review of former employees working for any of the stores.

this reading week won't feel like a reading week because of all the work i have to do. but i'll be making time for friends and also volunteering at a seneca green conference. the week will fly by and soon i'll be back to the grind. i may also have the ability to be exempt from a course for next semester as i've already taken a very similar course in project management - environmental last year. let's hope that i can get out of it and then maybe i can put in some extra time working and not feel constantly overwhelmed or stressed out with all the things i have on my plate.

go go gadget reading week!

sometimes things get, whatever

i told myself that if i didn't get that marketing job, i would automatically become a pessimist in my job hunt.

i didn't get it.

i just can't seem to land a break. i've been unemployed for a year and a month now. some people have told me that you're only unemployed for the amount of time you've been searching for a job. well, fuck. i've been searching for a job since i moved to toronto last september. back then, i was looking for anything that could fit my schedule. and in january of 2012 was when i started the full-time, permanent, real, grown-up job search. and i've had nothing come from it but a string of good and bad interviews.

i felt highly overdressed for my latest interview at a retail store. many of the girls in this interview were wearing leggings. i'm sorry -- when did leggings become standard and okay for job interviews? because i'm now the proud owner of a lady suit jacket (yes, you read that right); it's become my own standard for interview attire. and with the colder weather, it's making it quite easy to be comfortable while i'm wearing it. oh -- and i failed to mention that it looks damn good. this was the first interview i've ever had where it was in my best interest to name drop in order to get the job. so, maybe it'll work out. i've had a bit of luck on my side -- sort of.

i had a pre-interview last week for an actual interview coming up on wednesday for a project coordinator position. i passed the pre-interview with human resources, so now i get to sit down with a couple of managers and tell them how awesome i am and why they should hire me. because, let's face it: i would coordinate the shit out of their projects.

in the meantime, i've secured an intern position for my internship this year in green business management at metrolinx and i'm pretty excited for that. i feel like i have a ton of things to offer them; and i've overheard that the previous year's interns were offered summer jobs with the company. i can only hope that will happen with me too.

but my motivation for school is very minimal. i have a ton of great faculty teaching me this year, which is a giant plus in going to class. however, i'm just tired. i don't want to put in the hours of doing work anymore. my ability to write never ceases to amaze me -- with a paper i started last week the day before it was due and receiving 100% on it -- it lets me know that i've still got it ("i used to be with it, but then they changed what "it" was. now, what i'm with isn't it, and what's "it" seems weird and scary to me). 

i'll just keep on keepin' on. maybe things will get better.

so long, sweet summer

i don't want to go back to school.

i've finished 6 years of post-secondary education. i'm tired of it. grad school the first time around was a joke. actually, it was worse than a joke. i spent a god awful amount of money on what felt like nothing -- nothing that really stuck in my head after april.

i guess i have every right to be tired of school and not have any motivation to get through another fucking year. i figured that maybe this summer -- the one where i couldn't land a job -- would be the summer that follows into september where i don't have to head back to school for something. i just want a job i can be content with and preferably isn't shitty, like working retail. 6 years of school should at least allow me to be able to function in my field of study. as long as i'm getting some moneys, i'll just get you coffee and watch your kids. whatever. i want the real world experience that i lack. i want the real world experience i was supposed to get during my internship in the second semester of grad school; except what i got was developing a 40 page research project that they threw out the moment we walked away. at least i can truly justify my anger.

i haven't had an interview since sometime in the beginning of july when i figured i had nailed that internship with the marketing place. i did nail it; it came down to me and two others. except somebody else got hired over me. still, it's nice to know that i was considered, i suppose. on friday, i had 2 interviews. one with tourism ontario and one with global village. i feel like the lady at tourism ontario was pretty impressed with me. the interview went on for quite awhile and it sounded like a lot of things i could do, given the right circumstances. the global village interview also went pretty well, i think. they didn't have anyone even remotely interested in environment-related things and figured they should probably start.

there's a recruitment/temp agency that's been calling me lately too, but every time i return the call, i never get who i'm supposed to talk to and it's a never-ending cycle of phone tag. she "just wants to talk about my resume"... whatever that means. i've applied to a couple of jobs through that agency but none of them were anything i was that crazy interested in doing. i have an interview with them on wednesday. i also sort of had an in with a retail store that i went to see today, but apparently showed up too late. they clearly saw me standing there quite confused and they didn't even bother to come over to the door and tell me what's up. whatever. i'm better off. i should have just slept through my alarm instead of getting up and trekking over there. i also wasted a bunch of my time applying for a ryerson job only to hear back instantly that applicants were preferred to be ryerson students. for the amount of things i do for both ryerson and u of t, i may as well be an enrolled student. fuck.

the good news is that i'm going to get some money this week. i signed up and was randomly selected to participate in a focus group with seneca. they give me some moneys that will cover a fair amount of food and beer for a couple of weeks. i'm stoked on that. remember that job i was hired at back in april? and then they told me may? and june? and july? and for canada day, they got in touch with me and asked if i was available to work -- but i wasn't. well, they contacted me again for this saturday. and this time, i'm free all day. so, here's hoping something happens with that.

so what am i doing with my time, then? well, applying to jobs takes up a good portion of my day. i've been doing volunteer work with u of t and i'm an official orientation leader of frosh week in september. my longboarding internship is still kicking around and i'm working on things for that. and i did go home to visit for about a week in august. i hadn't been home in a couple of months and had a  lot of stuff to do while i was home. last week, i also found out that my kitty's feline diabetes reversed and now he's back to being healthy. that was super exciting news, and i'm really happy about that.

such a baby.

yep... same old life, really. if i end up going back to school, i start on september 4. with an 8am. because seneca is terrible, amongst other things. but that won't stop me from trying to find a job.

the power of me

i've been in a bit of a vulnerable state the last few weeks.

my life has a tendency to be awesome only up until a certain point -- and then it gets a little difficult. you see, all of the bad things that seem to happen to me occur in the same span of a couple weeks. yes, these can range from bad interviews, bad dates, problems with school, to empathy with friends and family. and seriously; things haven't been this awful in quite some time.

i've never been one to sit around all day, all month, or all year. i can appreciate that i may have inherited the workaholic gene from my family. it exists. and i know it does. i don't feel right unless there's something to do. and having this first summer of real unemployment is driving me crazy. the internship is okay. i like what i'm doing and occasionally feel some sort of gratitude for the things i do. but the no money factor kills me. it's also not enough to keep me busy. i'm finding other activities, like cooking, working out, cleaning, and playing video games to make the days pass. and even then, i'm finding it strangely difficult to make a life out of any of this.

you see, a lot of social life depends on funds. with no moneys, this makes it increasingly difficult to go out and do things, like drink heavily at bars -- which most of my friends do. sure, i can hang out with dudes, get drinks, and do whatever i want. but it's not the same. i don't want to be dependent on another dude just to be able to go out and have fun. i've never wanted to be dependent. i'm one of the biggest commitaphobes i've ever met -- and i'm not exactly going to be shy about it. many of my past relationships have failed mostly because of this reason. i don't settle. i don't commit. and when i do these things, they have a tendency to backfire on me. so, for the most part, i just stopped.

i stopped after my latest failed relationship ended in december. we were together for quite some time and i was over it in a matter of days. frankly, i was over it before it was even over. but that empathy factor set in and i decided it was better to seem like i was upset than to go off and live my life so quickly. the commitment set in and i just wasn't ready. i was never ready with him even though he felt like he was. it was just not anything that i needed at the time. and it went on for so long -- as one of my first "real" relationships that i didn't know how to end. and the ending was about 8 months too late.

i could tell myself again and again that it was my fault. that i should have spared both of us the trouble, ending it when it should have ended, rather than many months later when he had invested himself in me and the relationship even further. but i couldn't do that. and i still can't. i can assume that he's forgiven me and things might resume as normal -- to be friends. but i can't do that either. i'll never see him again. or any of the other dudes i may have been sort of "seeing" (or mostly just kissing) on the side -- and i'm sorry that he may not have known that, but i can assume he suspected. it was an easy way out that i saw but never used to progress to a means to an end. i had just always hoped and knew, whatever hopeless romantic, if any, was left in me -- that i would just know when that right dude had come along. i encouraged myself to believe that somewhere out there was a dude i could be with where i didn't want to be with any other dudes except him.

i started 2012 off with a clean slate. and by the middle of january and a whole fuck ton of awful dates later, i found a few shining lights. some of which worked out to my advantage and others not so much. two of them remained steady up until about now. one of them, i had assumed, had no interest in anything else other than what we were doing -- hanging out. he felt more like a friend rather than somebody i may have been sort of dating. the other found a soft spot in me that i wasn't sure existed. and although there was always a constant talk of where we were going or how things were progressing, there never seemed to be a common ground we could take other than whatever it was that we had. so i left it. at some point, i realized that i saw a potential future but never exactly expressed an interest in this until it was too late.

it was a step up and a step down for everyone involved. of course, there were and still are other dudes being picked up and dropped off consistently wherever i see fit. whenever i wanted something more and he didn't, i'd make more time for others. whenever it seemed he wanted something more, i was constantly invested in other dudes. we were always on a different level of infatuation - whether we actually believed in it or not. but it was one of the only things in my life that kept me steady and stable. something i could count on being there even if he wasn't always around whenever i needed him to be -- because i never expected him to be. it was something i felt content with. and happy that throughout this strange, steady dating experience, there was never a point where i felt required to end it -- like so many others had pissed me off before. it was patience and understanding. it was honest and positive.

but there were no rules.

and when there are no boundaries, no procedures, no policies, and no rules, there is bound to be failure, upset, and sadness. i had the ability to do whatever the fuck i wanted. and so i did it. i fell back into old patterns and routines. i fell back into the roots of 15 year old me -- being in the wrong place at the wrong time and doing things i know i shouldn't be doing. my ethics and morals were off balance. i wanted an exclusivity but couldn't get it. so i added more dudes into the picture, making myself even more confused about the whole situation and fucking up some other things i had going for me in my life. i hit a downward spiral until i decided i wasn't going to take this shit any longer.

and yet -- we remained steady. it was always available to me whenever i felt like getting it. problems soon arose that i realized and i didn't know how to cope. i kept telling myself that it was just a phase. we'd been through them before. but i had a feeling. i had that feeling my life had been too swell for too long and i was about to be hit. a storm was coming. and it did.

my existing problems with time and the job search sent me into an anger i've never felt before. i have no money to show for the 4 months i've been out of school. i have no money to go out with friends and live a life. i have no money to pay rent and live in toronto. i have problems with osap giving me money to get through the next year and my new post-grad program. i had friends reach out to me with mind-boggling problems of their own -- dealing with their own stress and anxieties of life that hurt me, knowing that i was dealing with similar issues and was at a loss for words. i re-evaluated my life and choices. this was the first time ever that i didn't know what to do, where to go, or who to turn to.

so when i needed him to be there without telling him i needed him to be there, he decided he wasn't going to be. the one steady thing in my life had failed me.

but i'll only be stronger once this storm is over.

......."rise."

the summer of nothing

remember that seinfeld episode with that show about nothing?

my summer is a whole lot of nothing.

i did some blogging for my internship. i'm currently working on an promotional advertising campaign for three products and tracking the visitor numbers and responses on craigslist, kijiji, and the ontario longboarding forum. these things have been keeping me quite busy. 

on the kind of job front, i picked up a blogging assignment for blogTO to review the riverdale farmers' market. i got to go talk to all the vendors and get some free food out of the deal. it wasn't so bad, except it was one of the hottest days of the year when i went to check it out. i wrote up a review of the market and waited for feedback. they thought it was okay -- but it needed revisions. so, i'm working on those revisions now and hoping my next draft will be workable. they pay me some money for it eventually when it's published. it's not a lot, but it will cover some groceries, at least.

the rest of my job search has sort of fallen off the face of the earth. i'm still occasionally applying to jobs but am never hearing back from any for an interview. it's basically the end of july and i haven't had a job yet. but -- this still seems to be the case for many of my friends.

i have a few leads on potential jobs for september but there's no real telling what's going to happen with that. once upon a time, i hoped that if i found a full time job somewhere, i wouldn't have to go back to school. now that i can't seem to find any job, full or part-time, it seems more and more likely everyday that i'll do the green business management program for another 8 months and start the real serious job search next april.

it's going to be strange to tell OSAP by september that this was the first summer ever in 6 years that i wasn't able to find any type of summer work.

time's a wastin'

i figured the job hunt is getting to a serious desperation point as i applied to several jobs yesterday and received two requests for interviews. one for an administrative position at a daycare and one for a research internship for a marketing firm.

okay, yes... i would prefer the research one. but i'm almost willing to do anything if it pays (so, start looking for my drag king debut sooner rather than later).

i'm basically up in arms about the interview i had this morning. i travelled over half an hour in rush hour commute times to the daycare. i was just under ten minutes early. i walked in and was greeted by a lady to pointed me in the direction of the lady interviewing me. we walked to an office while we attempted small talk. she was sort of difficult to understand and talked pretty fast.

at the office, i had a seat and she asked if i had any experience working with kids. yep, i sure did. then, she asked if i had office experience. yep, i kinda did. working in a library is kinda like an office. there were officey-type things to do and whatnot, so i described to her what i did. she followed up by asking me why she should hire me over others. i threw out some things about how i'm awesome. she didn't seem too impressed with me. she told me that if and when she calls for a second interview is when she would talk about the position, the wage, and answer any questions i had about the position.

i stared at her in disbelief. you mean to tell me i travelled over half an hour to meet with you for exactly five minutes? i asked her if they were looking for somebody full-time, permanent and she shook her head yes. she got up to shake my hand and wished me farewell. she didn't even walk me out. when i had checked the time upon me leaving the daycare, it was 9:30am -- the time my interview was supposed to start.

what the fuck just happened?

the fuck?

not only was this a waste of my time (to barely sleep the night before because of interview nerves, to get up and get ready, to travel across the city and meet her) but also a waste of her own time to meet with me. we both know that's five minutes of our lives we will never get back. so why even bother interviewing if you already seem to know that you don't like me or that i don't fit your qualifications/standards for the position?

ugh. feeling totally down and ridiculous, i walked past a loblaws on the way back to the subway. i dropped off a resume just to try and increase chances of a potential job. maybe something will happen. maybe not. at least my chances are better in dropping that resume off than the interview i just had.

here's hoping that tomorrow's interview on bay street goes a little better.

the unpaid internship

i've been seeing them around a lot lately in my job postings: the dreaded unpaid internship.

last year and practically every year before, i was so against them. yes, i needed experience doing things and yes, internships were a good place to start. but... money. money was always the issue. i needed money to live and survive. why should i bother putting in 20-40 hours a week for no payment? it's a catch 22. i need experience which i don't have and i need money, also which i don't have.

but, i had to throw away that mindset this summer and applied to several. some unpaid, some paid, and some which didn't specify (and i'm assuming that they will be unpaid). and then i had a thought: would it be at all possible to be rejected from an unpaid internship? i mean, it's not as if i'm applying for a computer programming intern or a communications intern or an open heart surgery intern. i'm applying for unpaid positions in not-for-profits or companies for project coordinators, environmental things, and marketing. things that i can believe i'm qualified for.

but i'm still not hearing from any of them!

are other recent graduates applying for these internships too and they are more qualified to do the job at hand? more qualified? better suited? their resume/cover letter sounds better? i don't even know how to understand this concept.

i've removed my "unpaid internships are not for me" mind frame and am feeling the stench of desperation like no other. i'm restless. i'm bored. i'm running out of money. it's too hot in my apartment. i'm still drinking rather than cutting down like i intended to do. i'm lazy. i'm unmotivated. i spend hours a day applying to jobs i know i can get and never hear from anyone!

that was until today. i came across this article in the toronto star that sort of made me feel a little better about how things are going. it basically says that half a million young people are unemployed and not entirely looking for work. it also says that those actually looking (2 in 10) were discouraged at the job market. discouraged is an understatement, i think. i applied to several jobs and internships (both paid and unpaid) today and finally received a chance for an interview. finally. my last interview was weeks ago. i was beginning to think there was nothing left in the job market for me at all.

but oh yes... that apparent job i've had since april and haven't started yet. there's still no word on that. june, they said. as far as i know, june is around the corner soon.

i mean, not that i have any idea what day it actually is or anything.

post graduate program review

i learned a lot of really neat things over the past 8 months.

although i won't go into ridiculous detail about everything that happened within the project management - environmental program, here are some of the highlights (expect some major use of cognitive dissonance!):

1. good professor, bad professor 

yes, i sure had a wide variety of instructors. one of them in particular that everyone in the program seemed to have a problem with. he had a tendency to not give any feedback, got angry when people came in late, wouldn't always give a break during class, wouldn't allow you to leave the class when you had to pee, argued with students over more/less grades, got angry if he taught something to us once/seven times and we still didn't understand, didn't see a problem when he handed back the midterms and then was approached by 95% of the class about grades, yelled at students... and the list goes on. he taught two of my classes. that was not fun.

a second professor had a very weird way of grading that was most of the time, extremely unfair. he wanted a ridiculous amount of information in order to be given full marks for each question. his first few tests/quizzes were like this, and once he discovered that only one person in the program had any knowledge on the subject and we had collectively decided that his grading was not good, he changed his marking scheme and made it slightly better for us. until the final exam, worth too much of our grade, which basically screwed everyone over. but i thought it was legit... i studied and memorized a lot of what was on it. i just sort of feel bad for the rest of my program during that exam.

a third professor started off alright and then i stopped going to class. this class had a very small number of people in it and rarely did i ever get any work done. the first assignment i submitted sometime at the end of january was returned to me in march; i had done the whole thing wrong. so i asked to resubmit the assignment and she agreed. then, i didn't hand it any of the other assignments, minus one that i did hand in. when it got to the end of the semester and the final assignment, i did each section of the final assignment and asked if i could still submit the other assignments i didn't do. she agreed but seemed extremely disappointed in me for not doing the work on time. she also yelled at me for not getting the work done on time like almost everyone else. honestly, i just didn't give a flying fuck about this elective course. i spent four days at the end of the semester trying to crunch out those assignments and email them in; she must have accepted them and i must have done a very good job on them despite the "late penalty" i was going to get, as i still somehow got out of that class with an A. 

the rest of my instructors were fantastic, except for my mentor for the internship.

2. the "internship" 

i started this program based solely on the internship component. i have limited experience (see: none) in my field of study, besides shitty summers on clifton hill with tourism and i'd rather be on the environment side of things. what i, and most of the people in my program who were having the exact same problem, were hoping was that the we would gain some valuable experience and skills from this internship.

now, when i think of an internship, i think of literally being in a workplace setting with other people who work there and y'know... doing work. like, hell, if i was just the intern who took notes at a meeting or was in charge of getting coffee or making photocopies or just.. anything in the workplace that needed to be done (hell, i would have cleaned bathrooms if it meant i'd be doing SOMETHING). but this was not the case.

instead, i met with my project sponsor once. the first time, i was sick and wasn't able to meet him. he gave us a project -- to develop an environmental audit checklist and methodology to measure the effectiveness of their environmental performance. cool? i figured maybe as part of the project, we would have to conduct the audit ourselves. wrong. maybe we would have to go in and actually survey employees for our checklist questions. wrong. at the very least, i thought we would be in constant communication with the sponsor and maybe have a few days where we would be on-site, checking things out and gaining that real world experience. nope, wrong again.

so what did we do? well, we created the checklist and methodology. essentially, a 40 page project. it included the actual project plus various project management tools and techniques that we used. also, there were 3 people in my group, and the one guy basically did next to nothing the entire semester. my mentor was a bit of a dick and rarely helpful -- because we didn't really need him for much, but he was always extremely nosy and into our business which didn't help a lot of things. after that already 8 hour day before seeing him, and staying close to another 3 hours with him once a week for no reason, i just couldn't take him any more. it's a good thing i know how to be a dick back.. i can thank my thesis advisor for that.

3. program friends 

despite all odds, the people i met in my program were amazing and i'm glad we all got through it together. these are definitely some people i won't soon forget. and i hope we can hang out and do things all summer -- and that my next year program of green business management will have just as great people. i made some life-long friendships and i'm happy for that!

i like to think of us as community.. kinda.

4. recommendations

i'm pretty sure we were the dawning age of this program. it's only been around 2 or 3 years and yet, supposedly, we have changed it so much. we were supposed to have that one awful professor for a course in the second semester. after we (see: the entire program) took the course coordinator aside and bitched about the professor to the coordinator, he made some changes and hired a wonderful professor to teach us the course in the second semester.

they'll be making changes to the curriculum for next year and not allowing an elective course. i found the elective for us to choose the most frustrating as almost nothing that interested me (or others) was available. about ten students chose a project scheduling class at a different campus in the evening. that class didn't interest me and i wasn't sure how to get to the other campus, nor did i want to have a day that started at 8am and ended at 10pm, so i didn't take it. originally, i started off the semester in an energy course that i went to 3 classes and immediately dropped for a different class -- with the third 'bad' professor. but the elective sort of tore the group apart; some were in the scheduling class, others took online or correspondence courses, some took other random classes. it was just extremely screwed up. our family was not as close as it should have been in the second semester as much as we were in the first semester when we had a fantastic schedule and no 14 hour days.

but, it's over. i graduate and get handed my ontario graduate certificate at the end of june. i would probably recommend this program more with the better curriculum -- and if the internship ever turned into an actual internship. it was a somewhat okay way to utilize the project management skills we gained from the first semester and the risk management skills in the second semester. however, the program and the courses need better organization and a focus with each class relating to each other through projects, assignments, presentations, and lectures. connectivity between courses is key to higher education and learning, and i at least felt that tourism and environment at brock had that down a lot of the time.

onto bigger things in september: green business management. because i've yet to land a job so i may as well dive deeper into my student debt!

MIA

you may have noticed a lack of blog updates the past 2 weeks.

never fear, i am still alive and kickin'. things have just been so busy. i'm not even sure if busy is the right word here.

i went out for samson's birthday dinner on september 29th at kokoni. the sushi was great. too bad i was starving before i got there and had to grab a sub. it felt weird to be the only girl.. and the only straight person. it had been a very long time since the last time i noticed that conundrum. the 30th, i wrote my second assignment -- an internal memo. we had a meeting with the program coordinator to discuss things about the internship. these meetings will be every couple of weeks now. i'm looking forward to securing a placement and getting the experience of actually doing something outside of class and theory. i went to samson's party for a little bit then came home to do some work for the week ahead.

october 1st, i went with heather in the afternoon to wal-mart (ugh) to help her buy glasses. i stopped in at toys r' us looking for the possibility of really cool halo lego like i saw in sears (again, ugh) way back when but found nothing cool. instead, i came across fable 3 for 15 bucks. yeah, i just HAD to get it. we met up later for my first nuit blache experience. i saw lots of people throughout the night and a number of different pieces of artwork. only like 3 of them were really interesting. it was a cold night and eventually we stopped for late-night breakfast. i managed to stay out until almost 5am. i don't think i would ever go to nuit blanche again.

october 2nd, i rested up during the day and wrote my proposal for environmental law that wasn't for marks. we also had an open book quiz set for october 3... also, not for marks. i didn't understand the logic behind any of this no grades stuff.

october 4th, steph came up, i began my first day of skipping class, and my first day volunteering for the greenbuild conference. we went to check out the green job fair early but it wasn't what we thought it was going to be, so we hung out doing nothing for awhile until our volunteer shift started at 2pm. we worked one of the speaker series doing crowd control, crowd control for the opening plenary, and had an hour on a recycling station. we headed to east side marios for some dinner and home to unwind.

october 5th, we were up bright and early to catch speakers at 8:30am. i saw one about green schools that teach and another on sustainable campus planning/ecodistricts. all superb. we got our free lunch (meh, wasn't that great) and started our second volunteer shift at 2:30pm; recycling stations for 4 hours. the time just dragged. eventually, we got to leave sometime after 6pm. we received free tickets to the speakers/maroon 5 concert at ACC that evening, but i didn't feel much like going, needed to study for my quiz the next day, and steph had to go home. i gave the tickets to bobby and his friend instead. they had a good time, i hope.

october 6th was my 23rd birthday, though it didn't feel like it for most of the day. i went to another speaker series; one about climate change plans for university of bc and calgary and one about re-skinning and sustainable buildings. again, they were fantastic. i grabbed my free lunch (much better this time) and came home to shower and study. however, there was no water in my building. so i was a smelly birthday girl. i went to class and was greeted with happy birthdays (which made it feel like my birthday again), wrote the quiz, stuck around for lecture, then met up with steve to go to my birthday dinner festivities at joeys eaton centre. it was nice to see everyone and get free dessert. steve, heather, and i went out after for more drinks. it was a good and bad idea.

i made it home and passed out only to awake again after 6am and knew for sure i would be late to class. that is, if the ttc would have cooperated normally. there were super long delays and then i had to change trains at sheppard because there was something wrong with the train i was on. eventually, i made it to class, wrote what i thought would be the shittiest 'bad news' letter and got my memo back from last week -- 100%! i met up with my group after class to discuss our project due the tuesday after thanksgiving weekend. originally, i had planned to take the 3pm bus home to niagara falls. i decided to wait it out and take the 7:30pm bus, except it was so busy that it was close to 8:30pm before i even got on a bus.

it was nice to see the parents over the weekend and eat lots of turkey. the weekend was definitely not long enough. my parents drove me back monday afternoon (while i snagged the 42" tv which looks amazing in our living room) with a stop at ball's falls for their thanksgiving festival and to see the conservation centre. i was back on the grind this morning at 6am for class at 8am.

i've been saving up for an amazing blog post in the works that will soon be ready for publishing. so, don't feel bad if you don't find my daily life to be that exciting.