ain't doing well, well, well, i am only doing just fine

for me, technology has a lifespan of about 4 years. at the end of january, my flip phone officially died. it was the end of an era. i had to switch over to a touch screen that i still hate.

on august 10th, my laptop, which i've also had for about 4 years, kicked the bucket. i knew it was coming since about january when i ran diagnostics with a friend and figured out that my hard drive was dying. but it was just one section. he told me to do a bunch of stuff which i never ended up doing because, well, i'm a procrastinator. what i did do was backup the majority of my files and important stuff manually that day, since my auto-backup would stop working as soon as it hit the bad sector. the problem was, i never updated all of my shit since then. so although i didn't lose too much (and most can be re-downloaded again), i did lose most of my schoolwork.

see, this would've been a bit of a problem to be without a laptop for a few days. but remember how i got a job? a real job? yeah, when i started that job on august 12th, i became the new owner of a work laptop. this tied me over until i received a new laptop on august 19th. life has a strange way of working out for me the past few weeks. i guess that makes up for just how shitty july was.

i have to admit that my first week of work was a bit overwhelming. there was so much to know, but so many perks of the job -- like playing xbox, friday beer hours, cakes & cupcakes for office birthdays, random snacks & food mostly every day, and so on. it's really a modern take on the whole office vibe. plus, it seems like a very laid back environment. i never once got the feeling of any hostility.. not like the metrolinx office (which still makes me cringe thinking about it!)

by the end of the second week and the completion of several projects, i was feeling more confident in my role, what needs to be done, how it needs to be done, and my excel abilities. my confidence was reinforced when i was told i did an excellent job at the projects i finished. so, as of next week, they're throwing me into the deep end and letting me swim - i'm on my own for the most part. this is nearly 2 weeks earlier than they anticipated for the training process. my role now also includes a big project i get to design & deliver, as well as a deeper analysis portion in one of my weekly projects. i'm actually pretty excited for those parts of the job!

in other exciting news, i won tickets to riot fest this weekend, so i've got a busy two days. i won VIP tickets last year - but unfortunately, these aren't VIP. poop.

bring on the $9 PBRs!

feedback

as a culminating paper for a class this semester, i had to write as many words as i wanted on the program, courses, and internship component.

and now, for your reading pleasure, i present to you:

a review of the last 8 months of my life just shy of 4,000 words.

note: names have been changed.

This feedback paper reviews each semester followed by comments on how the semester should have been structured from my perspective and where the program needs to improve. The internship placement is reviewed and how the course material can be applied to the internship and future endeavours in the sustainability industry. The paper concludes how the internship placement should be carried out next year to set the Green Business Management program apart from other environmental and sustainability post-graduate programs.

Semester One

In the first semester, the program requires students to take five courses: an introduction to sustainability, development theory, eco-productivity, corporate social responsibility, and green marketing. I began the program with optimism for interesting course material, great teaching styles, and a working internship placement.

GBM702: Sustainable Development: Yesterday, Today, and Tomorrow

Dr. Naveed taught this course. The format of the course was no different than any other; two “debates”, a midterm, and a case study presentation. We had readings most weeks that rarely anyone completed – and we were honest about not reading them. I graduated with an Honours Bachelor of Arts degree in Tourism and Environment which focused on sustainability for four years and also graduated from a Graduate Certificate in Project Management – Environmental. I was well immersed in the sustainability concept but was still required to take the course.

I expected that admissions would accurately judge the backgrounds of the students entering into the program and place them into the courses which made sense, rather than placing those with an environmental education into an introductory course. I couldn’t understand the logic behind this, especially when the professor teaching openly admitted to not having much of a background in sustainability. However, it was too late into the semester when I was told that I likely could have been exempt from the course for “advanced standing.”

Many of us purchased two expensive textbooks for the course. One textbook was used for the assignments and the other textbook was used one time for a reading then tossed aside. Dr. Naveed was adamant that we would use the textbook again, but we never did. A positive to the course was a guest speaker from the Marketing department at Steam Whistle Brewing who explained the organization’s sustainability initiatives that help to reduce costs and waste. A skill I can take away from this course and apply to the internship at The Globe and Mail is public speaking through the debates and case study presentations.

GBM701: Development Theory and Sustainability Models

Jim ran this course exceptionally well. Although there was very little “teaching” involved, Jim offered a format for the course and feedback when needed. We had summaries of learning material due every week that allowed for reflection on a different level, from both what Jim had taught or through the guest speaker’s material. The majority of the course was structured through self-learning around broad topics that let the students decide the direction of the topic, whether in teams or individually.  The course was split into two sections – a group paper and presentation and an individual paper and presentation.

Jim’s vast network of industry leaders was helpful in the learning process and in the internship search for a few of us who were in need of a placement. We were able to see real people in the sustainability industry making change happen, as well as job positions and openings in these organizations. Although I am unsure if Jim taught other post-graduate classes previously, his initial 8,000 word individual paper as a final project for the course during exam week was not the best idea. Many of us struggled with the grading of the course, even when the paper was reduced to 5,000 words. Several classmates expressed that they had never written a paper of that length and with the amount of workload from the remaining courses during that time period, 5,000 words was a definite setback.

The addition of Bob Willard to guest lecture an entire class was a nice treat and I have been using his theories as the basis for many of my projects throughout the year, both in The New Sustainability Advantage and The Sustainability Champion’s Guidebook. Again, despite Jim’s best efforts, the take away from this course relevant to The Globe and Mail is enhancing public speaking skills and the ability to network with industry professionals. The research involved with the two papers is indirectly applicable to The Globe and Mail but could be utilized on the Green Team for research on waste and recycling initiatives. “Development Theories & Sustainability Models” is a course name that needs to be modified. Since the course was self-directed, Jim taught a very limited amount of theories and models – such as systems and structures governing – but made attempts to reiterate these concepts at every chance.

GBM701 Eco-productivity in the Workplace I

This was the pre-requisite of two courses taught by Brett, one in the first semester and one in the second semester. Brett discussed the concepts of the 7 green wastes and demonstrated how to give sustainability a monetary value in order to receive attention from organizations and CEOs. I found this course to be the most valuable to me, as previously I had never viewed sustainability theory in a business sense for reducing costs and maximizing profits. This course would have been more valuable if my internship components didn’t fall through and I was able to use information from the organizations for the assignments, rather than Brett’s assigned case studies.

Brett’s classes were an open dialogue of ideas and discussion. His assignments placed value on effectiveness in time management, reporting, researching, presentation skills, and PowerPoint presentations. The midterm and final assignments in the course could be directly applied to The Globe and Mail’s operations in their current state of green waste and the future state to demonstrate solutions of where the organization could reduce costs to increase profit using sustainability initiatives.

GBM704: Corporate Social Responsibility and Business Ethics

Bob's course on Corporate Social Responsibility was an interesting concept with the end goal of the course to complete a CSR report for your partner company. This would have been a great opportunity and project to undertake if each student in the program had a working internship by the time the final project was completed. Unfortunately, this didn’t happen and several students, including myself, were forced to complete a case study CSR report or team up with other students with their partner company. This course would have been more effective if there were deadlines for each section of the CSR report, rather than the finished report amounting to 80% of the final grade in the course.

Bob stated that there isn’t one company in the world that is ISO26000 compliant and that made me wonder why the course is being offered in the Green Business Management program if no organization is interested in using ISO26000 certified CSR reports. I’m sure that this course will be an addition to my resume – to say that I can complete an ISO26000 certified CSR report, if necessary. However, since I did not have my internship set up by the end of the course, I was unable to use data related to The Globe and Mail. The information in the CSR report is something The Globe and Mail could have used for their organization’s current state. We are also still waiting on the grades from this course to ensure we can graduate from the program. Spending an entire semester on a course where the final project is worth 80% of the grade and not knowing whether you have passed the course can lead to a few anxious students hoping to graduate in April 2013.

GBM802: Green Marketing and Consumerism

Margaret was the professor of this course. GBM802 had a good concept and a solid textbook which made up for lectures that were a bit vague at times. The course was to use internships to overlap projects and assignments, making an attempt to gain more experience and real-world application with the courses and internship placements. The first paper was based entirely on the internship company for the year. The remaining assignments were meant to do the same, except when internships fell through and I, once again, was required to partner up with a colleague to complete the projects.

This course covered a variety of topics in marketing and business that could be useful for The Globe and Mail or other organizations who desire a sustainable marketing plan – which I can now complete for them. I found the course to be interesting but when classes are back to back in a two and a half to three hour span (nearly totalling six hours of straight class), minds tend to wander and the focus is no longer present. This course will be a stepping stone to help me begin an entry-level career in sustainable marketing activities if I’d like to go into that job direction.

Conclusion of Semester One

The underlying notion of the Green Business Management program emphasized a working internship where students could gain real world experience in the sustainability industry at various partner companies. When internships fail due to administrative errors or communication breakdowns, students are at a loss at what to do and continue the program missing out on opportunities in applying internship data to projects and assignments.

If the program coordinator is to place students at companies accordingly, the program coordinator should ensure that those company supervisors are aware of every detail of the internship, including the schedule (one day a week), the student’s workload in other courses, the student’s knowledge of sustainability, the student’s prior work and education experience, and what the student is to gain from interning at the company. The internship company should also let the program coordinator and student know exactly what the projects will be to complete, specific timeframes for completion of projects, and demonstrate flexibility and empathy with the student, as the internship is a learning opportunity.

Each professor in the first semester had a different way of teaching; some taught from textbooks, some taught very little, some had specific formats and page lengths for assignments, and some had minimal project specifics. Each professor also had a different policy for submitting assignments in hard-copy or soft-copy format. In a sustainability program, one would assume that nearly every assignment submission would be via email or Blackboard. Unfortunately, this did not happen as much as I would have liked.

What each of the professors had in common was the end of semester workload, which sent most students into a sleep deprived state for about two weeks. Seeing as how Green Business Management is a part of the Faculty of Business at Seneca College, one would assume that professors have a better understanding of time management. This would not the case. A balanced workload throughout the semester for each course would have been extremely beneficial for both students and professors.

Relating to time management is the horrible scheduling of first semester. Seneca College is a commuter school and students in the program commute many hours in order to get to class. This was extremely tough at times for those who lived far away from campus and had to deal with traffic and bad weather to arrive on time for an 8am class, and only one class for that day. I would have preferred a schedule with several classes in a day (just not back-to-back scheduling) to maximize the time at which I am commuting and on campus. Several classes in a day forces students to get to know each other outside of a classroom setting which allows the program to bond, growing as a group together. I felt GBM did not develop to its full potential until late in the semester due to these scheduling conflicts.

The program should have scheduled a feedback focus group in the first semester. This way, key professors and colleagues would be aware of the program’s faults and where they cold improve for the second semester. This would also give students a chance to speak their minds critically about the program as a whole and offer solutions to challenges faced throughout the first semester.

Semester Two

In the second semester, I was enrolled in the second eco-productivity course, sustainable leadership, ecopreneurship, and sustainable business plan. I was exempt for “advanced standing” in Margaret’s second course, GBM703: Sustainable Management.

GBM800: Eco-productivity in the Workplace II

Brett’s second course has been, so far, structured about the same as his first course. It continues to place monetary value on sustainability and includes more calculations for a carbon footprint, part of one of the projects I’m working on at The Globe and Mail. Finally, I’m able to use information from my partner company in the assignments for the second semester, upon starting at The Globe and Mail in January 2013. The Globe and Mail can benefit from these projects to reduce waste and improve profits.

Brett incorporated a few guest speakers this semester, including Bob Willard and employees from the Ministry of Environment. Originally, there was a discussion earlier on in the semester about a “field trip” to Evergreen Brickworks. However, I think due to inclement weather, holidays, course material, and scheduling conflicts, the field trip is not happening. This is unfortunate as I think hands-on learning and out-of-the-classroom learning is a great way to gain experience in the sustainability industry. Brett also talked about writing the GHG emissions exam to become GHG certified – something that would set the program apart from other environmental and sustainability post-graduate programs. I don’t think that went ahead either. I think the certification is a great idea and hope that it can be part of the curriculum for next year’s students.

GBM801: Sustainable Leadership

This course was the best course of the entire program, taught by Michael. The open dialogue and discussion format of the course worked so well. The readings every week were interesting and relevant to the course material. I believe that self-awareness is critical to success and that Michael demonstrated this through his lectures and assignments.

The course gave the opportunity to connect our placement companies through every reading, assignment, and discussion – and by the second semester, each student had a working placement until April. Reflecting each week on my internship placement organization kept me grounded in the projects I’m working on at The Globe and Mail. Reviewing the employees and culture at The Globe and Mail and my experiences as an intern to the readings in the course was an excellent way to learn about leadership styles.

GBM803: Ecopreneurship

Peter openly announced to the program that he has very little background in sustainability, yet is teaching an entrepreneurship course that focuses on sustainability. The main project is a semester-long fake sustainable business from inception to implementation to pitch and beyond. I imagine this would be a better course suited to actual business or entrepreneurial students rather than Green Business Management. It is not in my plan to begin my own business even though the group project has both negative and positive aspects to it.

Submitting a business plan on the fake business meant that two business plans were to be submitted for two different courses with two different professors and each professor not wanting the same format or layout. The business plans were also submitted following each other in two weeks. This made it difficult to understand what parts were actually required in writing a business plan.

Following the 40+ page hard copy business plan was the implementation plan: a 100+ page hard copy document of every government, bank, and marketing form a business needs to start. This did not go over well with Green Business Management students. The final project is a marketing blog, virtual trade show, and “Dragon’s Den” type pitch to “investors.” I’m looking forward to the pitch as what I’ve learned from the entire program so far is that sustainability is all about selling yourself and what you plan to do for the organization so that they buy-in. I enjoy my fake business idea and hope that one of the investors will buy into it as much as I have throughout the semester. However, the only take away from this course is the pitch – since pitching ideas and proposals to The Globe and Mail is important for success and employee buy-in.

The name of the course “Ecopreneurship” needs to change. Whoever designed the courses and course names needs to understand that putting “eco,” “green,” or “sustainable” in front of a course name doesn’t make it a “sustainable” course. Call it what it is – entrepreneurship. Not every course name needs to reiterate sustainability if the program and underlying concepts of each of the courses are actually about sustainability.

Peter helped students with their cover letters and resumes. He brought a different perspective into the course by utilizing networking, social media, and technology. He offered insightful tips for job interviews, as well as new social media websites that are on the rise. I’ve never had a professor so technologically and social media oriented, so that was a nice change.

GBM804: Sustainability Business Plan  

As previously mentioned, this business plan was entirely different compared to Peter's business plan. Michael's version was to keep it short and simple – the shorter, the better. I think the idea of the course was to stress proposals to organizations for sustainability initiatives, but I doubt that if I were to contact The Globe and Mail and/or The Globe and Mail’s Green Team outside of being a student intern at the organization, a proposal presentation would not go over very well.

The course didn’t have much “teaching” and was possibly meant to be self-directed. Class time was never used appropriately. I believe the course has potential to be an excellent addition to the program curriculum if it is taught by a professor in the sustainability industry with a background in writing business plans. At least, this new professor may be able to offer a sustainable business plan template for the internship placements (even though there are too many to choose from). Again, this course suffers from awful course naming, as there was very little “sustainability” involved in the course. I like the idea of the capstone paper and I hope it offers insight into where the program needs to be improved in future years.

Conclusion of Semester Two

Semester two experienced many of the similar problems as Semester One. Class scheduling was still terrible. Commuting to campus for early 8am classes was now Tuesday to Friday and dealing with the winter weather did not help. Classes for me were once a day for almost three hours. This meant I was commuting two hours a day for three hours of class. Professors with little to no interest or background in sustainability were teaching courses in the program. Course names were misunderstood and confusing. Professors continued to want hard-copy and/or soft-copy versions of projects and assignments. Professors had terrible time management and piled on the workload once again in the last two weeks of the semester, rather than trying to balance the coursework over the semester. Many of these problems could have been avoided with a simple feedback session at the end of the first semester.

Most of what I’ve learned during both semesters can be applied to the job title I’m hoping to get in the future as a sustainability project manager. Brett’s courses will be extremely valuable to selling sustainability to organizations and Michael's leadership course will help me continue to develop as a great manager and leader in the long and short term. Working on business plans and carbon footprint reporting at The Globe and Mail will add to my resume list of tasks I can complete for any organization, as well as sustainable marketing plans, ISO26000 certified corporate social responsibility reports. Every course enhanced my presentation and public speaking skills which are valuable for my future endeavours in the sustainability industry.

Internship Placement

In the beginning of the program, I had an internship placement set up at Metrolinx. I was happy and excited to start at the placement with a partner classmate. Eventually, there was a communication breakdown between the Metrolinx supervisor, the program coordinator, my partner, and myself. What Metrolinx was asking for and what my program coordinator was asking for were always two different tasks. By the third discussion with Metrolinx and first on-site internship day, it was impossible to understand exactly what the organization wanted and how we were supposed to carry out what they wanted, since we were just beginning the program. My partner and I were overwhelmed with Metrolinx and decided to end the internship.

This sent the two of us scrambling for another internship and left to our own devices to find a suitable placement. After weeks of searching for a placement and continuing to come up empty handed, I was thrown into The Globe and Mail as a second intern. However, by this time it was nearing the end of the first semester and I didn’t actually start the placement until January 2013.

I believe that many of us in the program enrolled in the program to gain first hand, real world work experience as part of the internship. Several internship placements failed during the semester for one reason or another and left students without a working placement for weeks or an entire semester. Some internship companies were located extremely far away for students. These internships were picked by the program coordinator – students were unable to choose their placement unless the one chosen placement for that student had failed.

Since the internship placements play such a large role in the program, they should be set up and confirmed immediately within the first month of the program. The placements should be required to know exactly what it is they are getting into upon signing up with the program. Instead of spending one day a week at the placement, students should be able to spend two or three days a week on-site at the internship, with the rest of the time during the week devoted to class. One day a week at a large or small organization does not work well for productivity and students do not gain any insight into the company’s environment and culture.

All placements should be located within the TTC and GO Transit lines to be accessible for all students inside and outside of the Greater Toronto Area. This is especially important for students who do not drive and their only means of transportation is by public transit. Students should have the ability to choose their own placement and ensure that the placement is somewhere the student wants to intern. The companies should allow students to work on environmental and sustainability projects that relate to the program. The placements should also be flexible in providing data and information for course-related projects and assignments, if possible, to enhance the learning experience.

Alternatively, I believe the internship placement could be modified entirely. I would change the internship to be extended throughout the year. The internship could remain as one day a week at a placement, followed by a full-time summer (paid) employment at the company for 3-4 months. I think this is the best route and would set the program apart from all similar post-graduate programs at universities and colleges. This would also help many students secure entry-level positions directly after the program is completed.

#internshipproblems

i never took the job from home depot.

i'm finding it difficult to have motivation to callback loblaws who have been after me for a couple of weeks now to set up an interview because i don't want a shitty, part-time job. and also, i just don't have the time for it.

since reading week ended, i've just been on the go nonstop. school is kicking my ass (but i'm still half-assing basically everything and rocking a 4.0 GPA. don't ask how; i have no idea).

i left my internship at metrolinx and realized i could never survive in an office environment with too many ridiculous, condescending people. i was overwhelmed and stressed out, which never happens. i just didn't know how to deal. i had no words. and i shouldn't have any words when i'm giving out free labour to a company that doesn't know what they want out of their free labour. asking questions got me no where and lead to aggressive responses that were completely uncalled for. not to mention, the issues with space for me being on site and the limited access to information for what i needed to do for them, eventually.

it just wasn't worth my time. and my coordinator didn't exactly make the issue any easier. i decided to use my own connections, networking, contacts, and cuteness (c'mon, you gotta give me that one) to talk to a bunch of companies and organizations that would appreciate an intern of my caliber. i got really far in a few companies who i'm still waiting to reply back (but, being around the beginning and middle of november, almost every internship placement won't start again until december or january). and i assumed that i would be without a placement until january. i was cool with that until i got a strange email.

i received an email from the globe and mail, one of our original program internship placements, saying that my coordinator had selected me as the second intern for their placement. i was thrown off by this because my coordinator hadn't said a word to me about this happening -- and then proceeded to let it slide until i approached her about it. and that pretty much settled it; i had to throw the majority of all the people i was talking to about becoming an intern at their organization under the bus. uhhh, thanks for playing, but my coordinator decided my fate without telling me and now i look like a fucking asshole and have ruined my name if i ever wanted to actually work for those companies.

god damnit.

so, now i'm an intern at the globe and mail, getting to work alongside a wonderful dude from my program. and i guess that's a plus. but there's just so much more i wanted out of this internship which is not even worth any course credit. it's just an addition to the program. i met with globe and mail this past friday and they're going to help me get set up. but, there's only 3 weeks left in the semester and i told them not to rush things. i'll just focus on my remaining schoolwork and start fresh in the new year. and then i'll be counting down the days until i'm finished and not returning to school in september.

2 terrible years of grad school are enough for me, i think.

between the click of the light

it's reading week!

already?

yeah, i definitely needed a break. i've been swamped for too long.

i meet my internship placement tomorrow at metrolinx. y'know, just presenting myself and what i'm going to do for them over the next 6 months in front of all of the executives and department leaders. not a big deal or anything! to be clear: i'm not nervous about failing at this, i know i'm going to be fine. i'm in an excited state of nervousness.

more good news! 

i failed to mention this in my last blog post, but sometime at the end of september or early october, i received an email from my undergrad thesis advisor. she told me that my thesis was accepted to be presented at a conference in may at ryerson, the international journal of arts & sciences’ (IJAS) international conference for academic disciplines! this was super exciting! i worked so hard on my thesis at brock that i'm pretty sure it's the greatest thing i've ever done with my life.

also, i was selected as a candidate for an upcoming huffington post canada article on commitment issues, not settling down, and not wanting to buy a home in the next few years. they're doing a spotlight on generation y kids versus generation x -- and i was selected from my comments on previous huffpost articles, twitter, and my blog. i guess people are starting to notice me via social media these days and it's paying off.

more sort of.. neutral news.

i haven't started at home depot for reasons that i can't understand. i've spent a couple days commuting to them to drop off information and fill in forms. last week when i dropped in to see them, they had invited me to an orientation session the next day but failed to inform me of this until as i was leaving. well, they can't expect me to just stop everything i'm doing and come in for them. i was scheduled to go to a conference that weekend (which, i didn't end up going to) but it was also my birthday party i had been planning for a month. i mean, i was mostly concerned with the conference happenings, but still.

so after the weekend, they call me back and ask me to come in on wednesday to fill in and sign more paperwork. i say yes and wednesday morning, they call me and tell me not to come in because the manager's unavailable or something. then, i think the next day or something i call them back to set up a new time and she says that she'll have to look into my availability and see if it still fits in with what's needed. uhh, what? i'm confused. so she said i would hear from them again on friday or monday. i guess we'll see what happens tomorrow.

after all this running around and making it difficult for me with home depot being in the middle of nowhere from both school AND home, i'm leaning toward being okay if they tell me they aren't going to use me anymore. because i'm so swamped with school and now have a general idea what my internship is going to be like (time-consuming and a lot of work); i almost feel like not working is a viable option unless it's within a closer distance to me and significantly less hours than what home depot wanted. also, reading reviews of home depots everywhere just made me not want to work for them even more. i didn't read a single positive review of former employees working for any of the stores.

this reading week won't feel like a reading week because of all the work i have to do. but i'll be making time for friends and also volunteering at a seneca green conference. the week will fly by and soon i'll be back to the grind. i may also have the ability to be exempt from a course for next semester as i've already taken a very similar course in project management - environmental last year. let's hope that i can get out of it and then maybe i can put in some extra time working and not feel constantly overwhelmed or stressed out with all the things i have on my plate.

go go gadget reading week!

sometimes things get, whatever

i told myself that if i didn't get that marketing job, i would automatically become a pessimist in my job hunt.

i didn't get it.

i just can't seem to land a break. i've been unemployed for a year and a month now. some people have told me that you're only unemployed for the amount of time you've been searching for a job. well, fuck. i've been searching for a job since i moved to toronto last september. back then, i was looking for anything that could fit my schedule. and in january of 2012 was when i started the full-time, permanent, real, grown-up job search. and i've had nothing come from it but a string of good and bad interviews.

i felt highly overdressed for my latest interview at a retail store. many of the girls in this interview were wearing leggings. i'm sorry -- when did leggings become standard and okay for job interviews? because i'm now the proud owner of a lady suit jacket (yes, you read that right); it's become my own standard for interview attire. and with the colder weather, it's making it quite easy to be comfortable while i'm wearing it. oh -- and i failed to mention that it looks damn good. this was the first interview i've ever had where it was in my best interest to name drop in order to get the job. so, maybe it'll work out. i've had a bit of luck on my side -- sort of.

i had a pre-interview last week for an actual interview coming up on wednesday for a project coordinator position. i passed the pre-interview with human resources, so now i get to sit down with a couple of managers and tell them how awesome i am and why they should hire me. because, let's face it: i would coordinate the shit out of their projects.

in the meantime, i've secured an intern position for my internship this year in green business management at metrolinx and i'm pretty excited for that. i feel like i have a ton of things to offer them; and i've overheard that the previous year's interns were offered summer jobs with the company. i can only hope that will happen with me too.

but my motivation for school is very minimal. i have a ton of great faculty teaching me this year, which is a giant plus in going to class. however, i'm just tired. i don't want to put in the hours of doing work anymore. my ability to write never ceases to amaze me -- with a paper i started last week the day before it was due and receiving 100% on it -- it lets me know that i've still got it ("i used to be with it, but then they changed what "it" was. now, what i'm with isn't it, and what's "it" seems weird and scary to me). 

i'll just keep on keepin' on. maybe things will get better.