May 16, 2012

the lights are out

i like to think i don't get scared easily.

okay, that's probably the first lie i've told in a very long time. i'll be the first to admit that i'm afraid of everything. spiders, bugs, commitment, the gathering darkness...

also a lie. except for maybe spiders and commitment.

what i'm scared of currently is the fact that outside of my door, all the lights are out. and fuck, it's scary. it's pitch black. i can't see anything. i don't want to leave my place in fear of what could happen in the five second walk down the hall to the stairs. or what would be even worse is if the stairs also had no lights on, and then i would be royally fucked. i barely want to climb those stairs with the lights on, nonetheless off (see: brother slipping and ending up with a bleeding finger).

but still. it's quite strange. and creepy. and scary. so i'm just going to hang out here for awhile until they maybe turn the lights back on.

what's new on the job hunt, you ask?

well, i had an interview last week for a place that sells school uniforms. she seemed to really like me and felt that i would fit in well with the store. the interview lasted quite some time. she even commented on my outfit (new interview clothes for the win!). she told me that she would make a decision on friday but i never heard from her. i suppose it's for good measure. she said that it would be extremely part-time hours for may, june, and july. maybe one or two days a week. and then august would be full time, all the time, as much as i wanted to work. i figured it would sort of be like that; nobody wants to buy school uniforms in may and everybody leaves things till the last minute in august and september. 

but i never heard from her.

i thought i had nailed it. i expected her to call because she was so impressed with me. i felt pretty good walking out of that interview. but nope, nothing. and i didn't want the job badly enough to call her. but i mean, she DID say she was going to call ME. and i suppose that counts for something.

one of the best things about being unemployed (or rather, employed but have yet to start? apparently i'm supposed to start the event place in june... we'll see about that) is all the time you get to yourself to do the things you want to do. like, for instance, i'm pretty aware that winter hibernation (and my roommate's mac and cheese) made me gain some weight. nothing too significant (friends are saying i look better) but i'm starting to notice and that bothers me. hey, don't get me wrong. i love myself and my body. i just always have the determination to make it how i want it to be.

i started a workout regime this week as for the last few months, i've been extremely lazy. it just involves going for long walks of 40+ minutes 3-4 times a week and a series of at-home exercises including push ups, stretches, sit ups, other ab workouts, yoga and tai chi poses, and a bunch of other things i can do around the apartment, like invisible chair competitions with myself (and charles the mouse when he comes out to play). i've also been doing a lot of in-my-room dancing routines i've taught myself off youtube to get ready for pride in june. i did this and this back in my undergrad for rez events and they were so much fun. i can't wait to get back up on stage again.

i've also started to do the other healthy things i never had much time for or was too lazy to do like floss (the dentist is coming up soon), buy/cook some healthy meals, try to cut back on my drinking (both for my body and for my wallet right now) and sit outside in the sun to get a tan. i've been reading the ground truth because all that 9/11 stuff interests me greatly. next up will be climate wars, a book i've always wanted to read since my undergrad, and that should be by next week or so.

and y'know, the usual of hanging out with friends, playing video games (i'm working through ocarina of time.. god damn water temple), and watching countless hours of tv and movies when i'm that bored.

ganon is so scary.
i guess the unemployed life is not so bad. if only making money wasn't a major issue.