i'm still not 100% as we've now hit the fourth month of being sick.
i had an appointment with a toronto urologist on tuesday after i finished the remaining c diff antibiotics friday night. i never want to see, taste, or take another pill ever again. and i never want to wake up with a new side effect ever again.
think of the absolute worst hangover you've had in your life. the nausea. the body aches. the headache. then multiply it by about 1000 and there you have how i felt for 5 days. constant, 24 hour nausea. what's worse is that i had to take the antibiotics with food or else it would be bad. ever tried eating when you're nauseous as fuck? it's not good.
i told the toronto urologist about all of my problems and all he could really tell me is that it sounds like i've just had an extremely unlucky set of events in the past four months. his sympathy was greatly appreciated once he put it into perspective. and here, i thought it was just me. he scheduled me for a cystoscopy for next week. they're gonna look inside my bladder and see if there's something in there causing the infections.
before any of this started, i never had a dream that involved doctors, hospitals, or me being sick. a few days before i was hospitalized back in september, i had a dream that i was seeing a doctor who told me i had a "self inflicted STD" - whatever that means. it's stuck with me, even though it didn't make any sense. i hadn't been with anyone and well, let's be honest, hadn't really helped myself out much either.
before i met with the toronto urologist, i had a dream i was back in the hospital undergoing some kind of a procedure for an "embolism" - but they were sticking needles in my tummy. again, this is a dream that's stuck with me because my subconscious seems to know when something is wrong with me before my body does.
and although i'm back on the job hunt in the most minimal way and back to having stupid, waste of my time interviews (like the ones i had yesterday, amongst the other five hundred people looking to score similar positions by meeting with an employer for 5 minutes), i just want to be better before i get out there again.
there's no telling when i'm actually going to feel 100%, as i kind of forget what that feels like. it has been over four months since i've felt healthy.
i'll just continue to take this one day at a time.
Showing posts with label job hunt. Show all posts
Showing posts with label job hunt. Show all posts
Dec 5, 2013
Nov 11, 2013
unemployed & more health issues
a lot can change in 2 weeks.
i finished the second round of antibiotics on sunday november 3. on the saturday, i went to the clinic for a follow up. i told the doctor i was feeling better and he told me to continue what i'm doing and come in a week later to do another urine sample.
i was feeling better for about two days. on wednesday, i woke up with the dull back ache and a bit of a tummy ache. well, that's not good. i went to the clinic on my lunch break and did another urine test. the doctor, once again, said i'm fighting something and put me back on the same antibiotics i just had for round 2, but for longer - 10 days this time. i went back to work and finished out the day.
i went to work thursday morning and settled in for another day. about twenty minutes into starting my work, my boss comes over and asks to talk to me. he brings me into one of the conference rooms with the HR lady. i figured they were just going to go over my benefits package again, which i was to receive the following week, on november 12, as my 3 month probationary term ended.
instead, my boss tells me that he's terminating me as part of my 3 months and that it was "a business decision" - effective immediately.
uh. what?!
so, i'm shocked. i don't even know what to say. my boss leaves and the HR lady tells me that i get paid until the end of the week and a bunch of other stuff i tuned out. i ask if this had anything to do with the fact that i have been very ill the past couple of months. she tells me it isn't. she then says it "just wasn't the right fit" and continues to tell me more things.
uh. i bring up the fact that about a month ago, i had a mini performance evaluation in which i was told everything was going great and they were extremely happy with me. the HR lady tells me she will try to look into this further for answers.
i've taken 3 sick days in the time i've been there. 3 completely legitimate sick days - 1 of which i was in the hospital before, 1 of which i was in the hospital after. however, my illness never once affected my work. ever. in fact, before heading to the hospital the second time, i came home and finished up part of the work that needed to be sent out that evening, but the servers were not working too well all day.
so, i was laid off for no reason. pretty much a "you'll reach your 3 months in 4 days but since you haven't, suck it" and now i'm back on the job hunt.
following this, i came home to niagara thursday afternoon. i had managed to get an appointment to see my family doctor friday. friday morning, i began to experience some light side effects from the antibiotics. i talked to my doctor who did bloodwork and another urine test. by friday night, i was dying with these side effects and took some other medicine to help counteract it.
it seemed to work, as saturday i was only experiencing very minimal side effects. but, on sunday, i was back to being even worse. by 3pm, i was nauseous, dizzy, and having trouble breathing. yes, folks, this was hospital visit #3. in niagara this time. the hospital set me up with hydration IVs, took samples, and bloodwork. 4 hours later, a doctor was telling me to get off the antibiotics, that it looked like the UTI was clearing, and giving me a referral to a urologist.
i can only hope i'll see this specialist sooner rather than later, and that pain doesn't start to come back as i'm not on the antibiotics.
my only priority is to get better before i start my job search again.
but, should you see anything out there where i meet the qualifications, don't hesitate to get in touch.
i finished the second round of antibiotics on sunday november 3. on the saturday, i went to the clinic for a follow up. i told the doctor i was feeling better and he told me to continue what i'm doing and come in a week later to do another urine sample.
i was feeling better for about two days. on wednesday, i woke up with the dull back ache and a bit of a tummy ache. well, that's not good. i went to the clinic on my lunch break and did another urine test. the doctor, once again, said i'm fighting something and put me back on the same antibiotics i just had for round 2, but for longer - 10 days this time. i went back to work and finished out the day.
i went to work thursday morning and settled in for another day. about twenty minutes into starting my work, my boss comes over and asks to talk to me. he brings me into one of the conference rooms with the HR lady. i figured they were just going to go over my benefits package again, which i was to receive the following week, on november 12, as my 3 month probationary term ended.
instead, my boss tells me that he's terminating me as part of my 3 months and that it was "a business decision" - effective immediately.
uh. what?!
so, i'm shocked. i don't even know what to say. my boss leaves and the HR lady tells me that i get paid until the end of the week and a bunch of other stuff i tuned out. i ask if this had anything to do with the fact that i have been very ill the past couple of months. she tells me it isn't. she then says it "just wasn't the right fit" and continues to tell me more things.
uh. i bring up the fact that about a month ago, i had a mini performance evaluation in which i was told everything was going great and they were extremely happy with me. the HR lady tells me she will try to look into this further for answers.
i've taken 3 sick days in the time i've been there. 3 completely legitimate sick days - 1 of which i was in the hospital before, 1 of which i was in the hospital after. however, my illness never once affected my work. ever. in fact, before heading to the hospital the second time, i came home and finished up part of the work that needed to be sent out that evening, but the servers were not working too well all day.
so, i was laid off for no reason. pretty much a "you'll reach your 3 months in 4 days but since you haven't, suck it" and now i'm back on the job hunt.
following this, i came home to niagara thursday afternoon. i had managed to get an appointment to see my family doctor friday. friday morning, i began to experience some light side effects from the antibiotics. i talked to my doctor who did bloodwork and another urine test. by friday night, i was dying with these side effects and took some other medicine to help counteract it.
it seemed to work, as saturday i was only experiencing very minimal side effects. but, on sunday, i was back to being even worse. by 3pm, i was nauseous, dizzy, and having trouble breathing. yes, folks, this was hospital visit #3. in niagara this time. the hospital set me up with hydration IVs, took samples, and bloodwork. 4 hours later, a doctor was telling me to get off the antibiotics, that it looked like the UTI was clearing, and giving me a referral to a urologist.
i can only hope i'll see this specialist sooner rather than later, and that pain doesn't start to come back as i'm not on the antibiotics.
my only priority is to get better before i start my job search again.
but, should you see anything out there where i meet the qualifications, don't hesitate to get in touch.
Aug 3, 2013
maybe happiness is wealthy if you spell it right
in toronto, you're always looking for a job, a boyfriend, or an apartment.
yes, i just tweaked a quote from sex and the city. i'm a girl. get over it.
i've been lucky enough to have one of those for the last 2 years. and it's not a boyfriend. despite ongoing issues with my apartment and struggles to pay rent, i've always had a roof over my head. it's the other 2 i can't seem to get or keep.
that all changed thursday afternoon when i got the call.
a job offer. a real job offer with a legitimate company. with a salary. and benefits. and vacation. and experience. and all the things i've been trying to get since i finished my BA in april 2011.
so how did it happen?
i saw a job posting on linkedin for a "digital analyst" position. i didn't understand most of the vague description but noticed that i met all of the requirements. without looking up where this company was located, i applied via linkedin. if you're not familiar with this linkedin process, you can apply to jobs simply by sending across your profile and, if you want, a resume and cover letter.
you might remember that i've done this before and got an interview out of it for something in my field. my hopes for that one were extremely high and it fell through when they hired someone internally and kept me on the hook for weeks. i figured that one was going to be my big break and it wasn't. i guess you could say that's when i became overly depressed about my ongoing job hunt.
i applied to this digital analyst position with just my profile and resume. when i looked up the location after i applied, i realized that they were just up the street from me. i gained optimism. i could walk to work! the next day, i was contacted by an intern from the company asking about my salary expectations and my anticipated start date. upon my response, i was contacted yet again for an interview later that week.
i was interviewed by two people who didn't give off many signs that they were too interested in me or my qualifications. one was the manager and other was the guy currently in the position i was after. it was a standard interview with no "scenario-based" questions but more of "can you do this and this" and "how well can you do this and this" and the nice part was knowing that i could do everything they asked. i tried out a few new interview techniques that i had read about and had been told to use by various people in my life. using these techniques let me see my interviewers' true intentions about me. i was convinced they were interested in me.
the next day after the interview, i received another email requesting a second interview and scheduling an excel test. a second interview! in all of my job searching, i've never had a second interview. i was stoked. i met with the director of the team i'd be working with. she, like the other people interviewing me, didn't give off that many signs that she was interested in me. she kept talking about how my skills would be valuable in the position, but i know i've heard that on several occasions from other potential employers before.
then came the excel test. they gave me an advanced test to work on and told me not to worry about it because it was a very difficult test, but all they had. i went into the test feeling confident. i had spent the entire weekend boning up on advanced excel tutorials and figured i knew my shit. well, according to that test, i didn't. so i threw on my poker face and took it one step at a time. you know, only freaking out in my head about why these fucking numbers weren't showing up in the spreadsheet and where the fuck did those errors come from and how the fuck am i supposed to calculate this when it's missing the actual numbers to make the formula with... and so on. i maybe got through 1/4 of the test before my time limit was up. i made it very clear to the HR person about how the test didn't really reflect my excel ability and laughed it off. she seemed impressed with me and how i handled the test. i left the company trying my best not to punch anything on the way back home.
i figured that was it. i was going to get a call saying i sucked so much at the test and i wasn't going to get the job. or worse, i'd just never hear from them again even with my following up. they had told me they were going to make a decision wednesday. by wednesday afternoon and no response, i followed up, on edge. i knew they had contacted my references and at least 2 of my references had responded with awesome things to say about me. a response from the intern said they were very close to making a decision, but wednesday came and went.
by thursday morning, i had basically wiped this job out of my head. i figured they went with someone else. a little later thursday morning, i get a call with the job offer. i was stunned. i didn't even know how to react. i decided i was just so numb when it came to the job hunt that i wasn't even sure how to talk to someone about accepting a potential job offer. i guess 2 years of continuous rejection will do that. she sent over a written offer and i'm waiting to sign it tuesday. i start on august 12. it's a full-time, 9-5 deal. the best news was when i found out the building my company is in is LEED certified. so at least there's a kind of indirect exposure to sustainability where i'm working.
i'm 2 for 3. i now have a job to pay my rent (which is going up in september) to keep a roof over my head. i imagine it'll take another 2 years of continuous rejection to get that boyfriend, right?
yes, i just tweaked a quote from sex and the city. i'm a girl. get over it.
i've been lucky enough to have one of those for the last 2 years. and it's not a boyfriend. despite ongoing issues with my apartment and struggles to pay rent, i've always had a roof over my head. it's the other 2 i can't seem to get or keep.
that all changed thursday afternoon when i got the call.
a job offer. a real job offer with a legitimate company. with a salary. and benefits. and vacation. and experience. and all the things i've been trying to get since i finished my BA in april 2011.
so how did it happen?
i saw a job posting on linkedin for a "digital analyst" position. i didn't understand most of the vague description but noticed that i met all of the requirements. without looking up where this company was located, i applied via linkedin. if you're not familiar with this linkedin process, you can apply to jobs simply by sending across your profile and, if you want, a resume and cover letter.
you might remember that i've done this before and got an interview out of it for something in my field. my hopes for that one were extremely high and it fell through when they hired someone internally and kept me on the hook for weeks. i figured that one was going to be my big break and it wasn't. i guess you could say that's when i became overly depressed about my ongoing job hunt.
i applied to this digital analyst position with just my profile and resume. when i looked up the location after i applied, i realized that they were just up the street from me. i gained optimism. i could walk to work! the next day, i was contacted by an intern from the company asking about my salary expectations and my anticipated start date. upon my response, i was contacted yet again for an interview later that week.
i was interviewed by two people who didn't give off many signs that they were too interested in me or my qualifications. one was the manager and other was the guy currently in the position i was after. it was a standard interview with no "scenario-based" questions but more of "can you do this and this" and "how well can you do this and this" and the nice part was knowing that i could do everything they asked. i tried out a few new interview techniques that i had read about and had been told to use by various people in my life. using these techniques let me see my interviewers' true intentions about me. i was convinced they were interested in me.
the next day after the interview, i received another email requesting a second interview and scheduling an excel test. a second interview! in all of my job searching, i've never had a second interview. i was stoked. i met with the director of the team i'd be working with. she, like the other people interviewing me, didn't give off that many signs that she was interested in me. she kept talking about how my skills would be valuable in the position, but i know i've heard that on several occasions from other potential employers before.
then came the excel test. they gave me an advanced test to work on and told me not to worry about it because it was a very difficult test, but all they had. i went into the test feeling confident. i had spent the entire weekend boning up on advanced excel tutorials and figured i knew my shit. well, according to that test, i didn't. so i threw on my poker face and took it one step at a time. you know, only freaking out in my head about why these fucking numbers weren't showing up in the spreadsheet and where the fuck did those errors come from and how the fuck am i supposed to calculate this when it's missing the actual numbers to make the formula with... and so on. i maybe got through 1/4 of the test before my time limit was up. i made it very clear to the HR person about how the test didn't really reflect my excel ability and laughed it off. she seemed impressed with me and how i handled the test. i left the company trying my best not to punch anything on the way back home.
i figured that was it. i was going to get a call saying i sucked so much at the test and i wasn't going to get the job. or worse, i'd just never hear from them again even with my following up. they had told me they were going to make a decision wednesday. by wednesday afternoon and no response, i followed up, on edge. i knew they had contacted my references and at least 2 of my references had responded with awesome things to say about me. a response from the intern said they were very close to making a decision, but wednesday came and went.
by thursday morning, i had basically wiped this job out of my head. i figured they went with someone else. a little later thursday morning, i get a call with the job offer. i was stunned. i didn't even know how to react. i decided i was just so numb when it came to the job hunt that i wasn't even sure how to talk to someone about accepting a potential job offer. i guess 2 years of continuous rejection will do that. she sent over a written offer and i'm waiting to sign it tuesday. i start on august 12. it's a full-time, 9-5 deal. the best news was when i found out the building my company is in is LEED certified. so at least there's a kind of indirect exposure to sustainability where i'm working.
i'm 2 for 3. i now have a job to pay my rent (which is going up in september) to keep a roof over my head. i imagine it'll take another 2 years of continuous rejection to get that boyfriend, right?
Jun 18, 2013
the one question i'm tired of hearing
here's a meme that's been going around for awhile
i first saw it sometime last year and it's been something i refer to ever since when someone asks me how my job hunt it going.
yes, i'm tired of hearing any variation of "how is your job search going?" because lately, it seems to be the only thing people are concerned about in my life.
half the time, i'm not even sure how to answer the question. what, you want me to tell you about the 15 jobs i applied to today? you want me to tell you about the two interviews i have lined up this week? you want me to say that i lied to a guy so i could get an interview (and ended up getting that interview? - so now i'm fucked).
sorry - when did my life only get interesting in my pursuit of a job? it's like an interview question. why is this the only thing people tend to ask my anymore? yes, i've taken school-mode amber and transformed her into job-searching amber, but that doesn't make me any different from what i used to be.
let's put it this way: if i want to talk to you about my job search, i will. i'll tell you every juicy detail about it, whether you're actually interested in hearing or not. but until that day comes, you're going to get a shitty response from me. especially as i approach my 31st interview this week and you can probably smell my desperation for a job two towns over.
i consider my job search to be just like what my school coursework was like. i'd give you a brief synopsis of what i'm working on -- "oh, it's a paper on (this) and it has to be (this many words)." so when you ask me and i say "i have an interview for (this place) doing (these things) and it's (related to my field/not related to my field)" -- that's all you're really going to get from now on. and if i don't have any interviews coming up, i'll tell you that. and i don't want to hear any words of optimism or any advice on how to do things, unless you're someone who's in my field and has been in the field for 5+ years.
it's simple: my job search is my own personal business.
besides, my love life is much more interesting to hear about.
i first saw it sometime last year and it's been something i refer to ever since when someone asks me how my job hunt it going.
yes, i'm tired of hearing any variation of "how is your job search going?" because lately, it seems to be the only thing people are concerned about in my life.
half the time, i'm not even sure how to answer the question. what, you want me to tell you about the 15 jobs i applied to today? you want me to tell you about the two interviews i have lined up this week? you want me to say that i lied to a guy so i could get an interview (and ended up getting that interview? - so now i'm fucked).
sorry - when did my life only get interesting in my pursuit of a job? it's like an interview question. why is this the only thing people tend to ask my anymore? yes, i've taken school-mode amber and transformed her into job-searching amber, but that doesn't make me any different from what i used to be.
let's put it this way: if i want to talk to you about my job search, i will. i'll tell you every juicy detail about it, whether you're actually interested in hearing or not. but until that day comes, you're going to get a shitty response from me. especially as i approach my 31st interview this week and you can probably smell my desperation for a job two towns over.
i consider my job search to be just like what my school coursework was like. i'd give you a brief synopsis of what i'm working on -- "oh, it's a paper on (this) and it has to be (this many words)." so when you ask me and i say "i have an interview for (this place) doing (these things) and it's (related to my field/not related to my field)" -- that's all you're really going to get from now on. and if i don't have any interviews coming up, i'll tell you that. and i don't want to hear any words of optimism or any advice on how to do things, unless you're someone who's in my field and has been in the field for 5+ years.
it's simple: my job search is my own personal business.
besides, my love life is much more interesting to hear about.
Apr 30, 2013
honours distinction & a vacation
ladies and gentelemen,
i've been recommended for graduation with honours distinction in green business management!
what a good way to end off my "last" year of school. i say last because, well, someday, i'm going to do a masters. i just have no idea when. or in what. sustainable leadership at guelph comes to mind. but.. that's far in the distance.
now onto things that matter: the job hunt.
i had a few interviews before i left for vegas oh right, i went to vegas. i'll talk about that in a bit.
1) an in-person interview with a publishing company for an administrative internship for 2 months, full time. it paid. not much, but it was money. i didn't get it.
2) a phone interview for a data analyst position at a research firm. full time. it paid. not an internship. this was a real job. i blew the phone interview, like, hard. and they still wanted to meet me (score!) so yeah, that happened.
3) another phone interview for a hotel for something i'm not even sure what it was but they called it an internship. this fell through immediately since they were looking for someone that needed a co-op. well, fuck. list that in your job posting! ass.
4) lastly, was a phone interview for summer receptionist place at a specialist organization. it was your standard, full time, summer, minimum wage crap. whatever. i didn't get it.
i had the in-person interview for the data analyst position today and things were going ridiculously well until they told me that they weren't hiring right away and probably wouldn't hire someone new until the fall. well, fuck. why even bother putting up a job posting and pressing for interviews if you're not gonna hire until 4 months from now? god damn. i don't get it. maybe that's just their way of politely telling me to fuck off. it seemed like something i'd be pretty rad at, too. ugh.
did i mention before that i had an interview with a tour guiding place? yeah, that was a weird one. they only paid minimum wage. i never heard from them but it's my own fault for not following up. i honestly just didn't give a fuck. i'm worth more than minimum wage. and even though i highly enjoy tour guiding/customer service crap, i wasn't good enough. hey yeah, fuck you too.
this wasn't meant to sound as negative as it does. but this is my life for the next well.. forever. until i get a job. there's a shred of optimism left. i'll make it through.
i applied to ten other jobs today. i start training for the temporary conference job tomorrow and have 18 hours of work over 2 days. so, i make some money. plus getting paid for 5 hours of training. it's all minimum wage, but i don't care. it's easy and it's fun. i'm happy they hired me on. 7:30am start time sorta sucks though.
oh right, vegas!
maybe i mentioned this before. maybe i didn't. my family booked tickets back in january for 5 days in vegas. it was pretty cool. highlights include seeing lots of stuff, doing lots of stuff, and eating lots of stuff.
monday: got to the airport at like 6:30am for an 8am flight (ughsdklhskjlgasd) and flew to vegas. checked in at the hotel vdara and went somewhere on the strip for lunch. walked around for awhile trying to figure stuff out. maybe went to the pool? i don't know. we passed out early. saw the fountains at the bellagio.
tuesday: walked up and down the strip looking at various casinos, hotels, and things. gambled on the blue jays losing against the orioles and won a shit ton of money. thank you, jays, for losing. had afternoon beers with my brother at a sports bar and watched the game. went to a world famous expensive sushi restaurant for dinner (nobu) but felt like absolute crap. ate anyway but couldn't enjoy it until nearing the end. would go again but it's fucking expensive. amazing sushi though. had an early night after 'cause i still felt like crap.
wednesday: left the strip and went to red rock canyon. did the tour. went to the red rock canyon indoor climbing gym and spent the afternoon there. i didn't want to leave. it was just amazing rock climbing and gorgeous tattooed dudes with muscles and beards everywhere. heaven. went to the stratosphere and walked around there a bit. was going to have dinner in the revolving restaurant but didn't; too expensive. had happy hour in the lounge instead. walked down that end of the strip a bit and went to circus circus amongst other places. then headed back to vdara and an amazing takeout manadarin chicken salad. passed out shortly after.
thursday: went to check out fremont street. walked around there. tried to go to insert coins but it was closed. had lunch at the patio place next to it. came back to the hotel for a nap and a change. headed out for an early dinner and then saw cirque du soleil's love. great show. went to a pizza place in the casino after. stayed out a bit and saw the strip at night and a couple of the hourly shows on the strip. then back to the hotel.
friday: slept in, packed up all our shit, and checked out of the hotel. gambled away the last of my money before heading to the airport and flying back to buffalo and hanging out in niagara for 2 days. got back to toronto monday morning.
didn't get to experience a whole lot of nightlife, but still a neat place. got a lot of weird stories to tell friends about the trip that maybe aren't exactly meant for a blog post.
las vegas: complete
i've been recommended for graduation with honours distinction in green business management!
what a good way to end off my "last" year of school. i say last because, well, someday, i'm going to do a masters. i just have no idea when. or in what. sustainable leadership at guelph comes to mind. but.. that's far in the distance.
now onto things that matter: the job hunt.
i had a few interviews before i left for vegas oh right, i went to vegas. i'll talk about that in a bit.
1) an in-person interview with a publishing company for an administrative internship for 2 months, full time. it paid. not much, but it was money. i didn't get it.
2) a phone interview for a data analyst position at a research firm. full time. it paid. not an internship. this was a real job. i blew the phone interview, like, hard. and they still wanted to meet me (score!) so yeah, that happened.
3) another phone interview for a hotel for something i'm not even sure what it was but they called it an internship. this fell through immediately since they were looking for someone that needed a co-op. well, fuck. list that in your job posting! ass.
4) lastly, was a phone interview for summer receptionist place at a specialist organization. it was your standard, full time, summer, minimum wage crap. whatever. i didn't get it.
i had the in-person interview for the data analyst position today and things were going ridiculously well until they told me that they weren't hiring right away and probably wouldn't hire someone new until the fall. well, fuck. why even bother putting up a job posting and pressing for interviews if you're not gonna hire until 4 months from now? god damn. i don't get it. maybe that's just their way of politely telling me to fuck off. it seemed like something i'd be pretty rad at, too. ugh.
did i mention before that i had an interview with a tour guiding place? yeah, that was a weird one. they only paid minimum wage. i never heard from them but it's my own fault for not following up. i honestly just didn't give a fuck. i'm worth more than minimum wage. and even though i highly enjoy tour guiding/customer service crap, i wasn't good enough. hey yeah, fuck you too.
this wasn't meant to sound as negative as it does. but this is my life for the next well.. forever. until i get a job. there's a shred of optimism left. i'll make it through.
i applied to ten other jobs today. i start training for the temporary conference job tomorrow and have 18 hours of work over 2 days. so, i make some money. plus getting paid for 5 hours of training. it's all minimum wage, but i don't care. it's easy and it's fun. i'm happy they hired me on. 7:30am start time sorta sucks though.
oh right, vegas!
maybe i mentioned this before. maybe i didn't. my family booked tickets back in january for 5 days in vegas. it was pretty cool. highlights include seeing lots of stuff, doing lots of stuff, and eating lots of stuff.
monday: got to the airport at like 6:30am for an 8am flight (ughsdklhskjlgasd) and flew to vegas. checked in at the hotel vdara and went somewhere on the strip for lunch. walked around for awhile trying to figure stuff out. maybe went to the pool? i don't know. we passed out early. saw the fountains at the bellagio.
tuesday: walked up and down the strip looking at various casinos, hotels, and things. gambled on the blue jays losing against the orioles and won a shit ton of money. thank you, jays, for losing. had afternoon beers with my brother at a sports bar and watched the game. went to a world famous expensive sushi restaurant for dinner (nobu) but felt like absolute crap. ate anyway but couldn't enjoy it until nearing the end. would go again but it's fucking expensive. amazing sushi though. had an early night after 'cause i still felt like crap.
wednesday: left the strip and went to red rock canyon. did the tour. went to the red rock canyon indoor climbing gym and spent the afternoon there. i didn't want to leave. it was just amazing rock climbing and gorgeous tattooed dudes with muscles and beards everywhere. heaven. went to the stratosphere and walked around there a bit. was going to have dinner in the revolving restaurant but didn't; too expensive. had happy hour in the lounge instead. walked down that end of the strip a bit and went to circus circus amongst other places. then headed back to vdara and an amazing takeout manadarin chicken salad. passed out shortly after.
thursday: went to check out fremont street. walked around there. tried to go to insert coins but it was closed. had lunch at the patio place next to it. came back to the hotel for a nap and a change. headed out for an early dinner and then saw cirque du soleil's love. great show. went to a pizza place in the casino after. stayed out a bit and saw the strip at night and a couple of the hourly shows on the strip. then back to the hotel.
friday: slept in, packed up all our shit, and checked out of the hotel. gambled away the last of my money before heading to the airport and flying back to buffalo and hanging out in niagara for 2 days. got back to toronto monday morning.
didn't get to experience a whole lot of nightlife, but still a neat place. got a lot of weird stories to tell friends about the trip that maybe aren't exactly meant for a blog post.
las vegas: complete
Oct 8, 2012
sometimes things get, complicated
where do i start?
1. the job hunt solution
it seems like i had been coordinating an interview time with the home depot for about a month. it was constant phone tag and problems with scheduling because apparently, people don't listen to me when i tell them that i'm busy. eventually, they called me with a time that worked on the thursday for the following tuesday. on the friday, i confirmed and asked for a confirmation callback just to make sure i knew what i was getting myself into. by the time tuesday rolled around, i still hadn't heard from them on a confirmation and i was worried.
with the help of some opinions from friends, i decided to show up to the supposed interview regardless of the confirmation call. it didn't help that i was feeling terrible with a cold and i didn't want to go; but i went. as i commuted to the home depot, i realized that i was in familiar territory. besides a recent encounter with a dude that set me up with a walk of shame from mid-town, there was something else about this area that seemed too ridiculously familiar. and then i walked by a place i had an interview with back in early summer: the school uniform place. it took all my might not to walk my ass in there and see if anyone in the store remembered who i was. that's just the sort of mood i was in that particular evening on the way to my interview.
i walked into the home depot and talked to somebody about how i'm there for an interview but i wasn't sure exactly who i was supposed to interview with. eventually, it gets sorted and i meet with a store manager. he asks some pretty detailed questions about projects and my experience but i was confident in my responses. i knew what i was talking about -- i guess that project management background was starting to pay off. the position was for a project coordinator that, when i was applying for the position, was part-time. this part-time idea was confirmed with the HR manager upon my successful passing of the pre-screen interview. but the store manager told me differently -- that he wanted someone flexible enough to work a 40+ hour work week if it should arise. well, fuck. i left the interview feeling useless.
by thursday afternoon, i receive a call from the HR manager again asking me to meet with her friday afternoon to discuss and consider positions. i was intrigued and she had basically refused to answer my questions over the phone. so, friday afternoon, after the longest commute ever from school, i met up with her. she verbally offered me a position at the special services desk looking after customer projects and things like that. she said she could also cross-train me on project coordination as the two departments coincide with each other and work as a cross-functional team most of the time. i was stoked on this offer and filled in the paperwork immediately. upon the completion and passing of a back check and reference check, as well as getting a go ahead from headquarters (as they're creating a new position for me to set up wages and so on), i would be hired.
so now i wait for a call on wednesday to possibly start on friday. there you have it, after being unemployed for 1 year and 2 months, i may have a job. it's about fucking time.
2. the internship promotion
remember that longboarding internship i had been working through over the past summer? the one that i was doing a crazy amount of work for without being paid (but at least getting some recognition for it, and having fun while i was doing it... most times)?
well, i had been working on a marketing/promotions project for about 2 months since the beginning of august, monitoring the progress of online advertisements and customer inquiries/sales. the thing was, there were no inquiries or sales. so i spent the majority of the project not doing anything and awaiting a response. last week, i received a response and sent it over. it was the first time in 2 months that i had heard an update from my 'boss', who had been MIA since i met with him at the beginning of august to work on this project. apparently, he had been very ill and took some time off. but he didn't tell me any of this.
i met with him and he told me how appreciative he is with all of the effort and enthusiasm i've put into my projects. and he wanted me to move up as an intern. essentially, he now wants me to help him make projects for the other interns and he wants me to supervise and train new interns. i was pretty stoked on this because i really enjoy managing people and well, developing projects. i'm all about conflict resolution and coming up with alternatives and recommendations on how to do things in a different way, which is probably why project management was such a good fit for me. besides my excellent organizational and time management skills -- geez.
3. the birthday, the school, and the other internship
i turned 24 years old on saturday october 6. my celebrations started on friday after my ridiculous day of class, commuting, the home depot interview, more commuting, and the longboarding internship. i met up with friends for dinner and drinks and was passed out on my couch before midnight. yes, i was drunk, but also exhausted. it was well worth it. because canadian thanksgiving fell on the same weekend as my birthday, most friends headed home or had family things to attend. i didn't want to get in the way of that. my birthday almost always falls on thanksgiving every year. leave it to my parents to have 2 kids with birthdays that fall on holidays. i'm having a part next weekend to celebrate my birthday and i can't wait for that.
i spent my actual birthday day with much needed amber time and a couple surprises from friends. i had an early night and awaited the arrival of my parents the next day. on october 7, my parents came to visit me in toronto. they brought me a bunch of shit and helped clean up the apartment. i took them out for a nice hike through riverdale farm and had dinner and drinks at house on parliament. i was happy to see them.
i'm pretty swamped with school most of the time but i'm content with what's happening. i'm waiting to start my internship with metrolinx but i don't know exactly what's going on with that or what to expect. i've finished a few papers and presentations so far that keep me busy and i also took on hip hop and zumba classes for a few weeks (although i didn't go last week since i was sick... boooo.)
starting next week, i'm managing school, 2 internships, and a part-time job. so if you need me or want to do something, make sure to book me a year in advance.
1. the job hunt solution
it seems like i had been coordinating an interview time with the home depot for about a month. it was constant phone tag and problems with scheduling because apparently, people don't listen to me when i tell them that i'm busy. eventually, they called me with a time that worked on the thursday for the following tuesday. on the friday, i confirmed and asked for a confirmation callback just to make sure i knew what i was getting myself into. by the time tuesday rolled around, i still hadn't heard from them on a confirmation and i was worried.
with the help of some opinions from friends, i decided to show up to the supposed interview regardless of the confirmation call. it didn't help that i was feeling terrible with a cold and i didn't want to go; but i went. as i commuted to the home depot, i realized that i was in familiar territory. besides a recent encounter with a dude that set me up with a walk of shame from mid-town, there was something else about this area that seemed too ridiculously familiar. and then i walked by a place i had an interview with back in early summer: the school uniform place. it took all my might not to walk my ass in there and see if anyone in the store remembered who i was. that's just the sort of mood i was in that particular evening on the way to my interview.
i walked into the home depot and talked to somebody about how i'm there for an interview but i wasn't sure exactly who i was supposed to interview with. eventually, it gets sorted and i meet with a store manager. he asks some pretty detailed questions about projects and my experience but i was confident in my responses. i knew what i was talking about -- i guess that project management background was starting to pay off. the position was for a project coordinator that, when i was applying for the position, was part-time. this part-time idea was confirmed with the HR manager upon my successful passing of the pre-screen interview. but the store manager told me differently -- that he wanted someone flexible enough to work a 40+ hour work week if it should arise. well, fuck. i left the interview feeling useless.
by thursday afternoon, i receive a call from the HR manager again asking me to meet with her friday afternoon to discuss and consider positions. i was intrigued and she had basically refused to answer my questions over the phone. so, friday afternoon, after the longest commute ever from school, i met up with her. she verbally offered me a position at the special services desk looking after customer projects and things like that. she said she could also cross-train me on project coordination as the two departments coincide with each other and work as a cross-functional team most of the time. i was stoked on this offer and filled in the paperwork immediately. upon the completion and passing of a back check and reference check, as well as getting a go ahead from headquarters (as they're creating a new position for me to set up wages and so on), i would be hired.
so now i wait for a call on wednesday to possibly start on friday. there you have it, after being unemployed for 1 year and 2 months, i may have a job. it's about fucking time.
2. the internship promotion
remember that longboarding internship i had been working through over the past summer? the one that i was doing a crazy amount of work for without being paid (but at least getting some recognition for it, and having fun while i was doing it... most times)?
well, i had been working on a marketing/promotions project for about 2 months since the beginning of august, monitoring the progress of online advertisements and customer inquiries/sales. the thing was, there were no inquiries or sales. so i spent the majority of the project not doing anything and awaiting a response. last week, i received a response and sent it over. it was the first time in 2 months that i had heard an update from my 'boss', who had been MIA since i met with him at the beginning of august to work on this project. apparently, he had been very ill and took some time off. but he didn't tell me any of this.
i met with him and he told me how appreciative he is with all of the effort and enthusiasm i've put into my projects. and he wanted me to move up as an intern. essentially, he now wants me to help him make projects for the other interns and he wants me to supervise and train new interns. i was pretty stoked on this because i really enjoy managing people and well, developing projects. i'm all about conflict resolution and coming up with alternatives and recommendations on how to do things in a different way, which is probably why project management was such a good fit for me. besides my excellent organizational and time management skills -- geez.
3. the birthday, the school, and the other internship
i turned 24 years old on saturday october 6. my celebrations started on friday after my ridiculous day of class, commuting, the home depot interview, more commuting, and the longboarding internship. i met up with friends for dinner and drinks and was passed out on my couch before midnight. yes, i was drunk, but also exhausted. it was well worth it. because canadian thanksgiving fell on the same weekend as my birthday, most friends headed home or had family things to attend. i didn't want to get in the way of that. my birthday almost always falls on thanksgiving every year. leave it to my parents to have 2 kids with birthdays that fall on holidays. i'm having a part next weekend to celebrate my birthday and i can't wait for that.
i spent my actual birthday day with much needed amber time and a couple surprises from friends. i had an early night and awaited the arrival of my parents the next day. on october 7, my parents came to visit me in toronto. they brought me a bunch of shit and helped clean up the apartment. i took them out for a nice hike through riverdale farm and had dinner and drinks at house on parliament. i was happy to see them.
i'm pretty swamped with school most of the time but i'm content with what's happening. i'm waiting to start my internship with metrolinx but i don't know exactly what's going on with that or what to expect. i've finished a few papers and presentations so far that keep me busy and i also took on hip hop and zumba classes for a few weeks (although i didn't go last week since i was sick... boooo.)
starting next week, i'm managing school, 2 internships, and a part-time job. so if you need me or want to do something, make sure to book me a year in advance.
Jul 30, 2012
the power of me
i've been in a bit of a vulnerable state the last few weeks.
my life has a tendency to be awesome only up until a certain point -- and then it gets a little difficult. you see, all of the bad things that seem to happen to me occur in the same span of a couple weeks. yes, these can range from bad interviews, bad dates, problems with school, to empathy with friends and family. and seriously; things haven't been this awful in quite some time.
i've never been one to sit around all day, all month, or all year. i can appreciate that i may have inherited the workaholic gene from my family. it exists. and i know it does. i don't feel right unless there's something to do. and having this first summer of real unemployment is driving me crazy. the internship is okay. i like what i'm doing and occasionally feel some sort of gratitude for the things i do. but the no money factor kills me. it's also not enough to keep me busy. i'm finding other activities, like cooking, working out, cleaning, and playing video games to make the days pass. and even then, i'm finding it strangely difficult to make a life out of any of this.
you see, a lot of social life depends on funds. with no moneys, this makes it increasingly difficult to go out and do things, like drink heavily at bars -- which most of my friends do. sure, i can hang out with dudes, get drinks, and do whatever i want. but it's not the same. i don't want to be dependent on another dude just to be able to go out and have fun. i've never wanted to be dependent. i'm one of the biggest commitaphobes i've ever met -- and i'm not exactly going to be shy about it. many of my past relationships have failed mostly because of this reason. i don't settle. i don't commit. and when i do these things, they have a tendency to backfire on me. so, for the most part, i just stopped.
i stopped after my latest failed relationship ended in december. we were together for quite some time and i was over it in a matter of days. frankly, i was over it before it was even over. but that empathy factor set in and i decided it was better to seem like i was upset than to go off and live my life so quickly. the commitment set in and i just wasn't ready. i was never ready with him even though he felt like he was. it was just not anything that i needed at the time. and it went on for so long -- as one of my first "real" relationships that i didn't know how to end. and the ending was about 8 months too late.
i could tell myself again and again that it was my fault. that i should have spared both of us the trouble, ending it when it should have ended, rather than many months later when he had invested himself in me and the relationship even further. but i couldn't do that. and i still can't. i can assume that he's forgiven me and things might resume as normal -- to be friends. but i can't do that either. i'll never see him again. or any of the other dudes i may have been sort of "seeing" (or mostly just kissing) on the side -- and i'm sorry that he may not have known that, but i can assume he suspected. it was an easy way out that i saw but never used to progress to a means to an end. i had just always hoped and knew, whatever hopeless romantic, if any, was left in me -- that i would just know when that right dude had come along. i encouraged myself to believe that somewhere out there was a dude i could be with where i didn't want to be with any other dudes except him.
i started 2012 off with a clean slate. and by the middle of january and a whole fuck ton of awful dates later, i found a few shining lights. some of which worked out to my advantage and others not so much. two of them remained steady up until about now. one of them, i had assumed, had no interest in anything else other than what we were doing -- hanging out. he felt more like a friend rather than somebody i may have been sort of dating. the other found a soft spot in me that i wasn't sure existed. and although there was always a constant talk of where we were going or how things were progressing, there never seemed to be a common ground we could take other than whatever it was that we had. so i left it. at some point, i realized that i saw a potential future but never exactly expressed an interest in this until it was too late.
it was a step up and a step down for everyone involved. of course, there were and still are other dudes being picked up and dropped off consistently wherever i see fit. whenever i wanted something more and he didn't, i'd make more time for others. whenever it seemed he wanted something more, i was constantly invested in other dudes. we were always on a different level of infatuation - whether we actually believed in it or not. but it was one of the only things in my life that kept me steady and stable. something i could count on being there even if he wasn't always around whenever i needed him to be -- because i never expected him to be. it was something i felt content with. and happy that throughout this strange, steady dating experience, there was never a point where i felt required to end it -- like so many others had pissed me off before. it was patience and understanding. it was honest and positive.
but there were no rules.
and when there are no boundaries, no procedures, no policies, and no rules, there is bound to be failure, upset, and sadness. i had the ability to do whatever the fuck i wanted. and so i did it. i fell back into old patterns and routines. i fell back into the roots of 15 year old me -- being in the wrong place at the wrong time and doing things i know i shouldn't be doing. my ethics and morals were off balance. i wanted an exclusivity but couldn't get it. so i added more dudes into the picture, making myself even more confused about the whole situation and fucking up some other things i had going for me in my life. i hit a downward spiral until i decided i wasn't going to take this shit any longer.
and yet -- we remained steady. it was always available to me whenever i felt like getting it. problems soon arose that i realized and i didn't know how to cope. i kept telling myself that it was just a phase. we'd been through them before. but i had a feeling. i had that feeling my life had been too swell for too long and i was about to be hit. a storm was coming. and it did.
my existing problems with time and the job search sent me into an anger i've never felt before. i have no money to show for the 4 months i've been out of school. i have no money to go out with friends and live a life. i have no money to pay rent and live in toronto. i have problems with osap giving me money to get through the next year and my new post-grad program. i had friends reach out to me with mind-boggling problems of their own -- dealing with their own stress and anxieties of life that hurt me, knowing that i was dealing with similar issues and was at a loss for words. i re-evaluated my life and choices. this was the first time ever that i didn't know what to do, where to go, or who to turn to.
so when i needed him to be there without telling him i needed him to be there, he decided he wasn't going to be. the one steady thing in my life had failed me.
but i'll only be stronger once this storm is over.
......."rise."
my life has a tendency to be awesome only up until a certain point -- and then it gets a little difficult. you see, all of the bad things that seem to happen to me occur in the same span of a couple weeks. yes, these can range from bad interviews, bad dates, problems with school, to empathy with friends and family. and seriously; things haven't been this awful in quite some time.
i've never been one to sit around all day, all month, or all year. i can appreciate that i may have inherited the workaholic gene from my family. it exists. and i know it does. i don't feel right unless there's something to do. and having this first summer of real unemployment is driving me crazy. the internship is okay. i like what i'm doing and occasionally feel some sort of gratitude for the things i do. but the no money factor kills me. it's also not enough to keep me busy. i'm finding other activities, like cooking, working out, cleaning, and playing video games to make the days pass. and even then, i'm finding it strangely difficult to make a life out of any of this.
you see, a lot of social life depends on funds. with no moneys, this makes it increasingly difficult to go out and do things, like drink heavily at bars -- which most of my friends do. sure, i can hang out with dudes, get drinks, and do whatever i want. but it's not the same. i don't want to be dependent on another dude just to be able to go out and have fun. i've never wanted to be dependent. i'm one of the biggest commitaphobes i've ever met -- and i'm not exactly going to be shy about it. many of my past relationships have failed mostly because of this reason. i don't settle. i don't commit. and when i do these things, they have a tendency to backfire on me. so, for the most part, i just stopped.
i stopped after my latest failed relationship ended in december. we were together for quite some time and i was over it in a matter of days. frankly, i was over it before it was even over. but that empathy factor set in and i decided it was better to seem like i was upset than to go off and live my life so quickly. the commitment set in and i just wasn't ready. i was never ready with him even though he felt like he was. it was just not anything that i needed at the time. and it went on for so long -- as one of my first "real" relationships that i didn't know how to end. and the ending was about 8 months too late.
i could tell myself again and again that it was my fault. that i should have spared both of us the trouble, ending it when it should have ended, rather than many months later when he had invested himself in me and the relationship even further. but i couldn't do that. and i still can't. i can assume that he's forgiven me and things might resume as normal -- to be friends. but i can't do that either. i'll never see him again. or any of the other dudes i may have been sort of "seeing" (or mostly just kissing) on the side -- and i'm sorry that he may not have known that, but i can assume he suspected. it was an easy way out that i saw but never used to progress to a means to an end. i had just always hoped and knew, whatever hopeless romantic, if any, was left in me -- that i would just know when that right dude had come along. i encouraged myself to believe that somewhere out there was a dude i could be with where i didn't want to be with any other dudes except him.
i started 2012 off with a clean slate. and by the middle of january and a whole fuck ton of awful dates later, i found a few shining lights. some of which worked out to my advantage and others not so much. two of them remained steady up until about now. one of them, i had assumed, had no interest in anything else other than what we were doing -- hanging out. he felt more like a friend rather than somebody i may have been sort of dating. the other found a soft spot in me that i wasn't sure existed. and although there was always a constant talk of where we were going or how things were progressing, there never seemed to be a common ground we could take other than whatever it was that we had. so i left it. at some point, i realized that i saw a potential future but never exactly expressed an interest in this until it was too late.
it was a step up and a step down for everyone involved. of course, there were and still are other dudes being picked up and dropped off consistently wherever i see fit. whenever i wanted something more and he didn't, i'd make more time for others. whenever it seemed he wanted something more, i was constantly invested in other dudes. we were always on a different level of infatuation - whether we actually believed in it or not. but it was one of the only things in my life that kept me steady and stable. something i could count on being there even if he wasn't always around whenever i needed him to be -- because i never expected him to be. it was something i felt content with. and happy that throughout this strange, steady dating experience, there was never a point where i felt required to end it -- like so many others had pissed me off before. it was patience and understanding. it was honest and positive.
but there were no rules.
and when there are no boundaries, no procedures, no policies, and no rules, there is bound to be failure, upset, and sadness. i had the ability to do whatever the fuck i wanted. and so i did it. i fell back into old patterns and routines. i fell back into the roots of 15 year old me -- being in the wrong place at the wrong time and doing things i know i shouldn't be doing. my ethics and morals were off balance. i wanted an exclusivity but couldn't get it. so i added more dudes into the picture, making myself even more confused about the whole situation and fucking up some other things i had going for me in my life. i hit a downward spiral until i decided i wasn't going to take this shit any longer.
and yet -- we remained steady. it was always available to me whenever i felt like getting it. problems soon arose that i realized and i didn't know how to cope. i kept telling myself that it was just a phase. we'd been through them before. but i had a feeling. i had that feeling my life had been too swell for too long and i was about to be hit. a storm was coming. and it did.
my existing problems with time and the job search sent me into an anger i've never felt before. i have no money to show for the 4 months i've been out of school. i have no money to go out with friends and live a life. i have no money to pay rent and live in toronto. i have problems with osap giving me money to get through the next year and my new post-grad program. i had friends reach out to me with mind-boggling problems of their own -- dealing with their own stress and anxieties of life that hurt me, knowing that i was dealing with similar issues and was at a loss for words. i re-evaluated my life and choices. this was the first time ever that i didn't know what to do, where to go, or who to turn to.
so when i needed him to be there without telling him i needed him to be there, he decided he wasn't going to be. the one steady thing in my life had failed me.
but i'll only be stronger once this storm is over.
......."rise."
Jul 6, 2012
i could do a lot of things if i had some money
"i'm really enjoying not having a job."
yes, i fucking said it. i'm enjoying not working, besides the fact that i'm running low on money. the truth is that i'm so busy doing things outside of the job hunt (like volunteering, my unpaid internship, hanging out and enjoying the summer, and so on) even though i try to spend a few hours a day sending out resumes to these potential jobs.
the interview i had on thursday with the marketing firm went much better than i expected. i was so discouraged from wednesday's ridiculous interview that i forgot what it was like to talk to a real human being (and a recent graduate like myself) about getting a job and experience working. the lady interviewing me was so incredibly personable. she reminded me of what i try to be most days. we talked for a good half hour and the firm does a bunch of neat sustainability things. i'm hoping i can land this one because i feel as though i can be a definite asset to their small team. it seems like a good fit for me. fingers crossed.
in the meantime, i've been pretty busy working on internship projects that are taking up some of my time. i've been completing research on the benefits of longboarding: specifically, carbon offsetting, time/distance saved, and exercise. what started out as something i thought i could enjoy quickly spun into something i realized wasn't the best idea. there were so many different sections to observe and information to discover and transfer knowledge. it was some difficult research. but once it was over, i moved onto the calculation end of things.
just the word 'calculations' and i immediately fell into the fetal position. you mean to tell me i'm going to have to use math? oh, fuck.
this is where i spent a couple of days just staring at what i had to do on google docs and screaming 'fuck' at the top of my lungs. i was so lost. okay, so maybe that's a bit of an exaggeration. but still. i didn't know what i was supposed to do. none of the things we had discussed previous to when i tried to do the calculations was making any sense and i had forgot a bunch of the things i was supposed to remember, ha.
with the help of a few friends, eventually i found my direction and kept on with it. surely, this was the most half-assed project i had completed to date. or so i thought. upon the deadline and meeting, i was praised for my continuous efforts and perfection. apparently it was exactly what he wanted and needed for the infographic. SUCCESS! mama's still got it.
since i didn't want to look at calculations or the benefits of longboarding anymore for at least awhile (and the lack of graphic design interns to work with me on creating and designing the infographic) i moved onto the newest project of the week: blogging! finally, something i know i can do well and not get bored halfway through. i sent off a list of topics i'm considering writing about with any and all the freedoms i want (including the freedom to hipsterize and swear as much as i see fit, depending on what i'm talking about).
knowing that i have a keen sense for writing and keeping the attention of the internet, and that once upon a time i was actually PAID to blog as part of a job (i know, i had a job once, can you believe that?) i figure this will be a great week.
hopefully i'll hear from the marketing firm too and i'll be paid to do other things soon again too.
yes, i fucking said it. i'm enjoying not working, besides the fact that i'm running low on money. the truth is that i'm so busy doing things outside of the job hunt (like volunteering, my unpaid internship, hanging out and enjoying the summer, and so on) even though i try to spend a few hours a day sending out resumes to these potential jobs.
the interview i had on thursday with the marketing firm went much better than i expected. i was so discouraged from wednesday's ridiculous interview that i forgot what it was like to talk to a real human being (and a recent graduate like myself) about getting a job and experience working. the lady interviewing me was so incredibly personable. she reminded me of what i try to be most days. we talked for a good half hour and the firm does a bunch of neat sustainability things. i'm hoping i can land this one because i feel as though i can be a definite asset to their small team. it seems like a good fit for me. fingers crossed.
in the meantime, i've been pretty busy working on internship projects that are taking up some of my time. i've been completing research on the benefits of longboarding: specifically, carbon offsetting, time/distance saved, and exercise. what started out as something i thought i could enjoy quickly spun into something i realized wasn't the best idea. there were so many different sections to observe and information to discover and transfer knowledge. it was some difficult research. but once it was over, i moved onto the calculation end of things.
just the word 'calculations' and i immediately fell into the fetal position. you mean to tell me i'm going to have to use math? oh, fuck.
this is where i spent a couple of days just staring at what i had to do on google docs and screaming 'fuck' at the top of my lungs. i was so lost. okay, so maybe that's a bit of an exaggeration. but still. i didn't know what i was supposed to do. none of the things we had discussed previous to when i tried to do the calculations was making any sense and i had forgot a bunch of the things i was supposed to remember, ha.
with the help of a few friends, eventually i found my direction and kept on with it. surely, this was the most half-assed project i had completed to date. or so i thought. upon the deadline and meeting, i was praised for my continuous efforts and perfection. apparently it was exactly what he wanted and needed for the infographic. SUCCESS! mama's still got it.
since i didn't want to look at calculations or the benefits of longboarding anymore for at least awhile (and the lack of graphic design interns to work with me on creating and designing the infographic) i moved onto the newest project of the week: blogging! finally, something i know i can do well and not get bored halfway through. i sent off a list of topics i'm considering writing about with any and all the freedoms i want (including the freedom to hipsterize and swear as much as i see fit, depending on what i'm talking about).
knowing that i have a keen sense for writing and keeping the attention of the internet, and that once upon a time i was actually PAID to blog as part of a job (i know, i had a job once, can you believe that?) i figure this will be a great week.
hopefully i'll hear from the marketing firm too and i'll be paid to do other things soon again too.
Mar 2, 2012
the job hunt begins
the last possible day of exams is april 20th. which means there are just under 50 days left of my first post-graduate career.
how did that happen?
so, in 50 days, i'll have an undergraduate degree and a post-graduate degree. and that should make me qualified to do something cool, right? like.. a job with something in my field. like.. a job where i can use what i've learned in the last 6 years and apply it to some kind of a real world situation. am i wrong?
i'll be honest. last year's disappointment in the summer job/career search left me feeling pretty down. i'm still not entirely sure what it was that i was doing wrong -- or if it wasn't me, but rather, them.
a recession.
a terrible employer.
a "we have jobs but we don't have jobs".
a decline in tourism.
a decline in sales.
a decline in jobs.
an overhiring.
the list goes on.
i was not happy with anything that happened last summer and my income definitely reflects that. but there wasn't a whole lot i could do to combat how terrible things were in the job market.
yet, it doesn't seem any different being in toronto. jobs i applied to back in september/december had no calls. jobs i've applied to in january/february still have no calls. jobs i'm applying to now -- for things i know i can do -- have no calls. i have many more connections and networking possibilities in the city but only a couple that can work out to my advantage. but i don't necessarily want to be that kid who gets the sweet job 'cause they know somebody; the ethics and the morals would get the best of me.
i know i'm not the only one suffering trying to find a job. several of my friends who are recent graduates or quit work looking for something better are still having the same issues at attempting to find a job, summer or otherwise.
i'm walking into this job hunt with a little bit of optimism; whatever actually remains from last summer's ridiculous 7 jobs i mostly had for a 2 week span. only because i feel like i have more of an opportunity to land something, whether it's in my field or not, in the city rather than back in niagara.
statistics of 400 applicants for an entry level, minimum wage secretarial position in niagara still scares the fuck out of me.
how did that happen?
so, in 50 days, i'll have an undergraduate degree and a post-graduate degree. and that should make me qualified to do something cool, right? like.. a job with something in my field. like.. a job where i can use what i've learned in the last 6 years and apply it to some kind of a real world situation. am i wrong?
i'll be honest. last year's disappointment in the summer job/career search left me feeling pretty down. i'm still not entirely sure what it was that i was doing wrong -- or if it wasn't me, but rather, them.
a recession.
a terrible employer.
a "we have jobs but we don't have jobs".
a decline in tourism.
a decline in sales.
a decline in jobs.
an overhiring.
the list goes on.
i was not happy with anything that happened last summer and my income definitely reflects that. but there wasn't a whole lot i could do to combat how terrible things were in the job market.
yet, it doesn't seem any different being in toronto. jobs i applied to back in september/december had no calls. jobs i've applied to in january/february still have no calls. jobs i'm applying to now -- for things i know i can do -- have no calls. i have many more connections and networking possibilities in the city but only a couple that can work out to my advantage. but i don't necessarily want to be that kid who gets the sweet job 'cause they know somebody; the ethics and the morals would get the best of me.
i know i'm not the only one suffering trying to find a job. several of my friends who are recent graduates or quit work looking for something better are still having the same issues at attempting to find a job, summer or otherwise.
i'm walking into this job hunt with a little bit of optimism; whatever actually remains from last summer's ridiculous 7 jobs i mostly had for a 2 week span. only because i feel like i have more of an opportunity to land something, whether it's in my field or not, in the city rather than back in niagara.
statistics of 400 applicants for an entry level, minimum wage secretarial position in niagara still scares the fuck out of me.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)