i've made a new blog for climate camp.
it'll be just as cool as this one but more focused on environmental/sustainability issues.
you can find it here:
http://www.ermahgerdclimatechange.blogspot.com
happy reading!
Showing posts with label sustainability. Show all posts
Showing posts with label sustainability. Show all posts
Mar 15, 2016
Mar 15, 2015
the waiting is the hardest part
too much of my life is spent waiting.
i'm constantly waiting for summer, for a better job, for more money, for the work day to be over, to see a doctor, for a train, to get home, for sleep, and the list continues.
typically, i wake up, get ready for work, and head out the door to wait for a train. i wait on the train to get to work. i wait for the elevator. i get into work and wait for my computer to boot up. i wait for that first question of the day. i wait to figure out what my plan of attack for the day will be. i wait around for my boss to be less busy to help me with my own questions. i wait for current projects to return back to me so i can finish them. i wait for lunch. i spend the next few hours in the same cycle while waiting to go home. i wait for a train to go home. i wait for dinner and i wait for bedtime.
by no means am i saying that i hate my job - in fact, it's quite the opposite. i do enjoy the work i'm given on a day to day basis. i enjoy the customer service aspect and i enjoy teaching coworkers or customers, as long as they don't put up a fight (especially when i know i'm right - perhaps i'm just not the best teacher, but yes, i'm working on it).
more than 80% of my day consists of waiting. and it gets worse when i have doctor appointments or are meeting up with friends. i've been watching a lot of aziz ansari's standup lately and he's got it completely down: people these days are assholes because nobody is ever on time. this adds to the waiting in my life. there are certain friends who i tell "be ready for 7" when i know the thing it is we're going to isn't until 8. and yes, i am guilty of being late on occasion as well. sometimes, it becomes inevitable with toronto's terrible transit system. sometimes leaving an hour early from my apartment doesn't get me to where i need to be on time. and that's not a good thing at all.
it's not that i don't do fun things but i can feel my passion for everything i once had slipping away. maybe it's just the long winter getting me down, but when i browse job listings to see what is currently available in my field (though i'm not necessarily looking for a change just yet - just looking around), i notice that the jobs that would've once excited me 2 years ago are not the same things that excite me now. perhaps it's due to me being in the workforce and getting a feel for office life. perhaps it's just that there are no daily reminders and constant learning keeping me strong and passionate about all my years of school. while i spend 8-9 hours of my day at work, the last thing i want to do when i get home is catch up on 8-9 hours of social media and sustainability news.maybe i'm just growing old. as of late, i feel incredibly blah. coping with a long winter, long days at work, battling seasonal allergies, and attempting to pretend i'm 20 again isn't cutting it.
part of me yearns to return to school but a larger part of me knows that it isn't a good idea. i know that if i do, once i'm finished, i'll return to that point of no relevant work experience and too much school. i loathe the day when i'm told i'm too overqualified for the position i'm applying. it's hard enough to hear that at my current job when something needs to be done and i show the initiative to do it. again, it isn't a bad thing, and i'm thankful that my current job recognizes my talents and is helping me develop my skills.
i don't believe there is a way to cut down the parts of my life i spend waiting. i've developed particular coping mechanisms with certain people in my life but that's only for my own sanity. i do the same with the handful of friends i have who, somehow, despite all odds, continue to mostly be on time. at least when summer arrives, it will feel like i'll have more time to do things with more sunshine.
the waiting will always be the hardest part.
i'm constantly waiting for summer, for a better job, for more money, for the work day to be over, to see a doctor, for a train, to get home, for sleep, and the list continues.
typically, i wake up, get ready for work, and head out the door to wait for a train. i wait on the train to get to work. i wait for the elevator. i get into work and wait for my computer to boot up. i wait for that first question of the day. i wait to figure out what my plan of attack for the day will be. i wait around for my boss to be less busy to help me with my own questions. i wait for current projects to return back to me so i can finish them. i wait for lunch. i spend the next few hours in the same cycle while waiting to go home. i wait for a train to go home. i wait for dinner and i wait for bedtime.
by no means am i saying that i hate my job - in fact, it's quite the opposite. i do enjoy the work i'm given on a day to day basis. i enjoy the customer service aspect and i enjoy teaching coworkers or customers, as long as they don't put up a fight (especially when i know i'm right - perhaps i'm just not the best teacher, but yes, i'm working on it).
more than 80% of my day consists of waiting. and it gets worse when i have doctor appointments or are meeting up with friends. i've been watching a lot of aziz ansari's standup lately and he's got it completely down: people these days are assholes because nobody is ever on time. this adds to the waiting in my life. there are certain friends who i tell "be ready for 7" when i know the thing it is we're going to isn't until 8. and yes, i am guilty of being late on occasion as well. sometimes, it becomes inevitable with toronto's terrible transit system. sometimes leaving an hour early from my apartment doesn't get me to where i need to be on time. and that's not a good thing at all.
it's not that i don't do fun things but i can feel my passion for everything i once had slipping away. maybe it's just the long winter getting me down, but when i browse job listings to see what is currently available in my field (though i'm not necessarily looking for a change just yet - just looking around), i notice that the jobs that would've once excited me 2 years ago are not the same things that excite me now. perhaps it's due to me being in the workforce and getting a feel for office life. perhaps it's just that there are no daily reminders and constant learning keeping me strong and passionate about all my years of school. while i spend 8-9 hours of my day at work, the last thing i want to do when i get home is catch up on 8-9 hours of social media and sustainability news.maybe i'm just growing old. as of late, i feel incredibly blah. coping with a long winter, long days at work, battling seasonal allergies, and attempting to pretend i'm 20 again isn't cutting it.
part of me yearns to return to school but a larger part of me knows that it isn't a good idea. i know that if i do, once i'm finished, i'll return to that point of no relevant work experience and too much school. i loathe the day when i'm told i'm too overqualified for the position i'm applying. it's hard enough to hear that at my current job when something needs to be done and i show the initiative to do it. again, it isn't a bad thing, and i'm thankful that my current job recognizes my talents and is helping me develop my skills.
i don't believe there is a way to cut down the parts of my life i spend waiting. i've developed particular coping mechanisms with certain people in my life but that's only for my own sanity. i do the same with the handful of friends i have who, somehow, despite all odds, continue to mostly be on time. at least when summer arrives, it will feel like i'll have more time to do things with more sunshine.
the waiting will always be the hardest part.
Feb 27, 2013
yes/no
this isn't the first time i've struggled with the job search.
during the summer of the recession, i had a job arranged before the start of the summer. i was to work at marineland, before i was aware of any of the injustice of the place. had i known, i wouldn't have applied to work there. i spent a day "training" with your standard carnival folk; most missing a full set of teeth. i quickly realized this wasn't a place i wanted to be. so i called them out on it. i called them out on not hiring me for what i originally wanted to do. i called them out on extravagant uniform fees for a uniform that didn't fit me. i called them out on forcing me to stay the entire summer to get that uniform fee back, when they knew i wasn't going to be able to stay the entire summer due to prior commitments. and i called them out on the way they told me that i would be able to get transferred over to what i wanted to do at some point during the summer.
i did all of these things not to be a shit disturber, but to stand my own ground once i realized how terrible a place and employer marineland actually was. upon the end of training (which i was not paid for), i asked any of the supervisors if they even had a clue who i was. none of them were able to remember my name. i spent 9 hours with these people and caused more than one scene and they didn't have an idea who i was. i walked out of there just barely holding onto any dignity i had left.
i never looked back after that.
my move to toronto was a way for me to emerge into the expanding sustainability industry, since niagara seemed to lack all opportunities for growth and development in sustainability. i've completed an unpaid environmental internship with my program last year. i took on an unpaid internship for my first toronto summer to improve my skills that were underdeveloped and because i wasn't able to land something that paid. it's ongoing but has been at a bit of standstill since the end of the summer. i was never much of a believer in the dude running the internship as he had too many wild ideas that were not feasible for his target market. his vision was never clear to me. i think he only lasted through the summer with my help.
in january, i started my third internship in just over a year. yes, if you did your math correctly, i haven't worked in paid employment since august 2011. it's now nearly march of 2013. i rent an apartment in downtown toronto that is not cheap. OSAP gave me money for the school year, but it's running out fast with tuition and rent costs. i've always lived a pretty frugal lifestyle, but it's becoming a bit difficult. i've never had a "real" job. the majority of my working life has been seasonal, part-time, minimum wage jobs. the summer of 2007 and 2010 were the only summers where i had a full-time job; at $8.25 & $10.25 an hour, respectively. for 3 years, i worked somewhere in the 12-16 hours per week range with slightly above minimum wage pay. all that money i saved up is now gone -- tuition, rent, & expenses.
i bring all of this up because i had another interview for an unpaid internship this week. it's a start-up venture as a waste diversion not for profit organization. he's competing with the "big five" waste diversion companies who are for profit; whereas his client's donations would go to charity & expenses of the organization. i read this guy fairly well and he seems to have a passion for this type of thing, outside his lack of sustainability education. he's a businessman; and a successful one with several networks to make his business work. i could see that he and i were much the same, sharing similar passions and values for all things green and logical. he was a well grounded dude, and i really enjoyed that about him.
and as much as this would be a wonderful opportunity for me, i just can't take it because it doesn't pay. he would allow me to run things the way that i want; to educate, to edit, to write, to facilitate, and so on. he was more than eager to have me on his team as he knew how much i would be able to help his business. and i knew i could help him with ease. but he wasn't able to offer me something that pays, although he would like to do that. when i asked him about his timelines and goals for the business, he once again proved to have a solid understanding of where he wants to be, both as an individual and a business. but as a start-up venture, i can relate to the expenses of not being able to pay employees (hell; i've created the business plan for my own start-up venture and i can't afford to pay myself or my other investors on my team).
the bottom line? he knows what he's doing and i can see his business succeeding in the near future.
but right now, i need an organization that recognizes how i can benefit them and has the ability to pay me for my hard work and effort.
go go gadget... job?
during the summer of the recession, i had a job arranged before the start of the summer. i was to work at marineland, before i was aware of any of the injustice of the place. had i known, i wouldn't have applied to work there. i spent a day "training" with your standard carnival folk; most missing a full set of teeth. i quickly realized this wasn't a place i wanted to be. so i called them out on it. i called them out on not hiring me for what i originally wanted to do. i called them out on extravagant uniform fees for a uniform that didn't fit me. i called them out on forcing me to stay the entire summer to get that uniform fee back, when they knew i wasn't going to be able to stay the entire summer due to prior commitments. and i called them out on the way they told me that i would be able to get transferred over to what i wanted to do at some point during the summer.
i did all of these things not to be a shit disturber, but to stand my own ground once i realized how terrible a place and employer marineland actually was. upon the end of training (which i was not paid for), i asked any of the supervisors if they even had a clue who i was. none of them were able to remember my name. i spent 9 hours with these people and caused more than one scene and they didn't have an idea who i was. i walked out of there just barely holding onto any dignity i had left.
i never looked back after that.
my move to toronto was a way for me to emerge into the expanding sustainability industry, since niagara seemed to lack all opportunities for growth and development in sustainability. i've completed an unpaid environmental internship with my program last year. i took on an unpaid internship for my first toronto summer to improve my skills that were underdeveloped and because i wasn't able to land something that paid. it's ongoing but has been at a bit of standstill since the end of the summer. i was never much of a believer in the dude running the internship as he had too many wild ideas that were not feasible for his target market. his vision was never clear to me. i think he only lasted through the summer with my help.
in january, i started my third internship in just over a year. yes, if you did your math correctly, i haven't worked in paid employment since august 2011. it's now nearly march of 2013. i rent an apartment in downtown toronto that is not cheap. OSAP gave me money for the school year, but it's running out fast with tuition and rent costs. i've always lived a pretty frugal lifestyle, but it's becoming a bit difficult. i've never had a "real" job. the majority of my working life has been seasonal, part-time, minimum wage jobs. the summer of 2007 and 2010 were the only summers where i had a full-time job; at $8.25 & $10.25 an hour, respectively. for 3 years, i worked somewhere in the 12-16 hours per week range with slightly above minimum wage pay. all that money i saved up is now gone -- tuition, rent, & expenses.
i bring all of this up because i had another interview for an unpaid internship this week. it's a start-up venture as a waste diversion not for profit organization. he's competing with the "big five" waste diversion companies who are for profit; whereas his client's donations would go to charity & expenses of the organization. i read this guy fairly well and he seems to have a passion for this type of thing, outside his lack of sustainability education. he's a businessman; and a successful one with several networks to make his business work. i could see that he and i were much the same, sharing similar passions and values for all things green and logical. he was a well grounded dude, and i really enjoyed that about him.
and as much as this would be a wonderful opportunity for me, i just can't take it because it doesn't pay. he would allow me to run things the way that i want; to educate, to edit, to write, to facilitate, and so on. he was more than eager to have me on his team as he knew how much i would be able to help his business. and i knew i could help him with ease. but he wasn't able to offer me something that pays, although he would like to do that. when i asked him about his timelines and goals for the business, he once again proved to have a solid understanding of where he wants to be, both as an individual and a business. but as a start-up venture, i can relate to the expenses of not being able to pay employees (hell; i've created the business plan for my own start-up venture and i can't afford to pay myself or my other investors on my team).
the bottom line? he knows what he's doing and i can see his business succeeding in the near future.
but right now, i need an organization that recognizes how i can benefit them and has the ability to pay me for my hard work and effort.
go go gadget... job?
Jan 20, 2013
sometimes, i forget
hi!
contrary to popular belief, this blog (and i) still exist. i've just been busy. and lazy. mostly just lazy. whatever. here's what's up:
1. progressed onto second semester of year 2 grad school
yes, i passed first semester with honours grades. i don't know how, but i'm pretty happy about that. in exam week, i had to write 4 papers. that sucked. but i managed to get through it. i could review the semester but i just don't see the point. the semester fucking sucked. it was terrible beyond words, except for 2 classes and 2 profs. making friends with my program classmates was exciting, though. i guess that's sort of why i didn't want to drop the program entirely since everybody ruled.
second semester is a bit different and seems tougher. i'll figure it out, though. i always do. i have a dick for a prof who seems to be flip flopping back and forth between saying he's not an environmentalist and telling me that he is all about saving the world. i imagine this is only going to get worse for me in the next few weeks as i can't even take the dude seriously and just zone out for the majority of his class. he noticed me zoning out last week and called me out on it. but i snapped back to reality and answered his question. amber: 1, prof: 0
i'm still hanging out at globe and mail. i actually started the first week back and i think i'll be writing a section of their sustainability report. or something along those lines. i'm not sure they know what they want. but i'm willing to compromise on something that fits. i'm there on mondays. i'm also working on an ecopreneurship business plan focusing on the outsourcing of recyclable toothbrushes in toronto. yeah, sustainability is pretty neat sometimes.
oh, and i also picked up this little number:
2. holidays!
my holiday break was well needed. i spent some quality time at home for about ten days and hung out with the family and occasionally saw some friends. took a trip to 'merica and smuggled back some shock top raspberry wheat. my brother and i completed the halo 4 campaign. i ate turkey. y'know, usual holiday stuff.
i came back and saw lots of friends that i didn't see too much over the past 2 months since school was crazy busy. i threw a new years eve party and that was fun. corey puked. michelle puked. people got naked. i made out and looked after sick friends. maybe not in that order. y'know, again, usual party stuff. before i knew it, the break was over and i was back at school.
3. dudes/friends/jobs/whatever
i'm not seeing anyone. it's a strange feeling but it's been this way since november. i actually sort of like it. i've spent a lot of time on myself the past few months and have been very self-reflective on my actions. it's something i probably should have done awhile back but never did. yeah, i'm interested in some dudes but they barely seem to be worth my time to go after, so i just don't. i'm busy and recently got addicted to halo 4 online multiplayer. that's my new boyfriend -- schooling 9 year olds at halo 4.
friends are cool. i've reconnected with a few that were on their way out. lost a couple but i'm thankful for that. staying clear of dudes for awhile put my true friends in perspective and i was ready to accept that. purged everybody i didn't care about from my facebook and moved on. including, y'know, that dude from before and all his friends. i let go (although, i did a long time ago.. too) but he didn't. i hope he finally got the hint and will just stop trying to contact me.
jobs? fuck that. i guess i'll be restarting my job hunt very soon. i've been looking at openings and applied to a couple. my hopes are not up, though. i'll be re-vamping my resume and all that shit too. the dream is to land a job in 2013. go big or go home, right?
some day soon, i'm sure i'll have something pretty interesting to talk about that's not a general update on the fact that i've been MIA for almost 2 months.
oh, and i added master chief to my halo megablocks collection.
contrary to popular belief, this blog (and i) still exist. i've just been busy. and lazy. mostly just lazy. whatever. here's what's up:
1. progressed onto second semester of year 2 grad school
yes, i passed first semester with honours grades. i don't know how, but i'm pretty happy about that. in exam week, i had to write 4 papers. that sucked. but i managed to get through it. i could review the semester but i just don't see the point. the semester fucking sucked. it was terrible beyond words, except for 2 classes and 2 profs. making friends with my program classmates was exciting, though. i guess that's sort of why i didn't want to drop the program entirely since everybody ruled.
second semester is a bit different and seems tougher. i'll figure it out, though. i always do. i have a dick for a prof who seems to be flip flopping back and forth between saying he's not an environmentalist and telling me that he is all about saving the world. i imagine this is only going to get worse for me in the next few weeks as i can't even take the dude seriously and just zone out for the majority of his class. he noticed me zoning out last week and called me out on it. but i snapped back to reality and answered his question. amber: 1, prof: 0
i'm still hanging out at globe and mail. i actually started the first week back and i think i'll be writing a section of their sustainability report. or something along those lines. i'm not sure they know what they want. but i'm willing to compromise on something that fits. i'm there on mondays. i'm also working on an ecopreneurship business plan focusing on the outsourcing of recyclable toothbrushes in toronto. yeah, sustainability is pretty neat sometimes.
oh, and i also picked up this little number:
 |
| graduate certificate in project management - environmental |
and got my sustainability hero, bob willard, to sign his book:
2. holidays!
my holiday break was well needed. i spent some quality time at home for about ten days and hung out with the family and occasionally saw some friends. took a trip to 'merica and smuggled back some shock top raspberry wheat. my brother and i completed the halo 4 campaign. i ate turkey. y'know, usual holiday stuff.
i came back and saw lots of friends that i didn't see too much over the past 2 months since school was crazy busy. i threw a new years eve party and that was fun. corey puked. michelle puked. people got naked. i made out and looked after sick friends. maybe not in that order. y'know, again, usual party stuff. before i knew it, the break was over and i was back at school.
3. dudes/friends/jobs/whatever
i'm not seeing anyone. it's a strange feeling but it's been this way since november. i actually sort of like it. i've spent a lot of time on myself the past few months and have been very self-reflective on my actions. it's something i probably should have done awhile back but never did. yeah, i'm interested in some dudes but they barely seem to be worth my time to go after, so i just don't. i'm busy and recently got addicted to halo 4 online multiplayer. that's my new boyfriend -- schooling 9 year olds at halo 4.
friends are cool. i've reconnected with a few that were on their way out. lost a couple but i'm thankful for that. staying clear of dudes for awhile put my true friends in perspective and i was ready to accept that. purged everybody i didn't care about from my facebook and moved on. including, y'know, that dude from before and all his friends. i let go (although, i did a long time ago.. too) but he didn't. i hope he finally got the hint and will just stop trying to contact me.
jobs? fuck that. i guess i'll be restarting my job hunt very soon. i've been looking at openings and applied to a couple. my hopes are not up, though. i'll be re-vamping my resume and all that shit too. the dream is to land a job in 2013. go big or go home, right?
some day soon, i'm sure i'll have something pretty interesting to talk about that's not a general update on the fact that i've been MIA for almost 2 months.
oh, and i added master chief to my halo megablocks collection.
Jun 4, 2012
one year anniversary
i just recently passed the one year anniversary of this blog on may 30th.
and this is my 50th blog post!
where was i a year ago? i was a recent graduate looking for a summer job while living at my parent's place in niagara falls. in those 3 months, i worked at imax theatre, margaritaville, java joe's, embassy suites, and sport chek. i also had countless interviews and sent off resumes to basically every place in niagara falls. i needed an escape. i had hit rock bottom. work was minimal. living at home was one of the worst things. i couldn't stand it.
a year passes and not a whole lot has changed. i gained more knowledge with a graduate program and plunged myself further into student debt. i moved out of my parent's place and into an apartment with my best friend in the world. i now called toronto my home. and -- up until this weekend, wouldn't have ever believed that i could live in toronto and function. this past weekend was a changing experience as i went for a short walk to use some coupons for dinner and randomly kept running into people i knew. it wasn't until the next day when i was in the wrong place at the wrong time when i truly believed i was a toronto resident -- involved in the eaton centre shooting, 7 people injured and 1 deceased.
luckily, i was above the food court when it happened and was on my way out of the mall when two ladies rushed out of a restaurant and told us to leave the mall immediately. outside, there was a gathering of over 2,000 people staring, taking pictures and videos, and stuck at a standstill on the sidewalk because of what was going on. social media has ruined lives this way -- instead of running for their lives, they're going to take a picture of it first. i didn't see anything out of the ordinary. nobody looked fearful and i didn't hear anything until we were outside. still, it's a bit scary and unreal.
i still don't have a paying job. i've taken on an unpaid internship with a longboarding company as their marketing/sustainability intern. i had my first day today and was assigned my first project to create an infographic about the benefits, exercise, costs, and carbon offsets of using a longboard. at least this gives me something to do instead of nothing. and after this article in the toronto star the next day after my interview, i was even more sold on the unpaid internship thing.
but, i'm still looking. i'm hoping somebody somewhere will eventually realize that they have the ability to pay me to do work too.
and this is my 50th blog post!
where was i a year ago? i was a recent graduate looking for a summer job while living at my parent's place in niagara falls. in those 3 months, i worked at imax theatre, margaritaville, java joe's, embassy suites, and sport chek. i also had countless interviews and sent off resumes to basically every place in niagara falls. i needed an escape. i had hit rock bottom. work was minimal. living at home was one of the worst things. i couldn't stand it.
a year passes and not a whole lot has changed. i gained more knowledge with a graduate program and plunged myself further into student debt. i moved out of my parent's place and into an apartment with my best friend in the world. i now called toronto my home. and -- up until this weekend, wouldn't have ever believed that i could live in toronto and function. this past weekend was a changing experience as i went for a short walk to use some coupons for dinner and randomly kept running into people i knew. it wasn't until the next day when i was in the wrong place at the wrong time when i truly believed i was a toronto resident -- involved in the eaton centre shooting, 7 people injured and 1 deceased.
luckily, i was above the food court when it happened and was on my way out of the mall when two ladies rushed out of a restaurant and told us to leave the mall immediately. outside, there was a gathering of over 2,000 people staring, taking pictures and videos, and stuck at a standstill on the sidewalk because of what was going on. social media has ruined lives this way -- instead of running for their lives, they're going to take a picture of it first. i didn't see anything out of the ordinary. nobody looked fearful and i didn't hear anything until we were outside. still, it's a bit scary and unreal.
i still don't have a paying job. i've taken on an unpaid internship with a longboarding company as their marketing/sustainability intern. i had my first day today and was assigned my first project to create an infographic about the benefits, exercise, costs, and carbon offsets of using a longboard. at least this gives me something to do instead of nothing. and after this article in the toronto star the next day after my interview, i was even more sold on the unpaid internship thing.
but, i'm still looking. i'm hoping somebody somewhere will eventually realize that they have the ability to pay me to do work too.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)