adventures in tinder, part 2

besides the fact that tinder now crashes my phone every time the app opens, i've kind of laid it to rest. but not before coming across something in particular.

there he was, using the same photo from 3 years ago.

3 years ago, i was in a bit of a weird place, trying to figure out my life. i had 4 different dudes i was seeing at the same time and he was one of them. fortunately enough for me, he was designated for sex and nothing more. that was established pretty quickly. he was just old enough to know all the right everything. i was just young enough to give in.

i'll never forget the time when he thought i was 28. i'd hope by then i would've been in a better place. although he was much older than me, he was in the same place i was. he didn't have a job. i think he had just finished school or was about to finish school. he didn't know what he wanted and neither did i. what we had in common was only each other. even his nerdiness, although similar to my own, did not line up. i found myself shy around him, unable to converse. he'd invite me over to his parkdale apartment, feed me drinks i've never heard of, show me films i've never seen, and spend countless hours watching futurama with me. he'd always ask me to stay over and sometimes i did.

i knew it was never going to last and i was quite surprised it went on for as long as it did. i never initiated anything with him because i never needed to do so. there was just something about him that made me kept going back for more, and the sex wasn't even that good. there wasn't a spark. it was just.. something. i still can't figure it out.

what threw me for a loop when i saw him on tinder was that same photo. all of them were the same ones i remember. it had been 3 years. even if it was your best picture, in 3 years, you should've at least taken a different one to use. you have the technology.

i swiped right just to see what would happen. so far, there hasn't been a match.

i'm okay with that.

adventures in tinder

the biggest change that has happened since my last update is that i'm currently single.

i use the term "biggest change" very loosely because not much has actually changed. i could sit here and write out everything i'm feeling and thinking and believe me, i have tried to do this. for once in my life, i had no words to express my frustration, so i didn't. i kept to myself and have every intention of keeping it that way.

in order to get out of my head, i needed a distraction. seeing as how i had extreme curiosity with tinder, i joined. here are my adventures in tinder in somewhat chronological order.

that cute simpsons dude 
not thinking much about it, i instantly matched with a very cute blonde dude in town to film some movie who asked me just the right amount of trivia questions before falling in love with me. it went on like this for a few days and that was the end of that. it was a good start that i knew was going to end up totally misleading during my adventure.


that dude who had no idea how to converse (dick pic #1)
i matched with some dude with a limited profile and now i understand why his profile was so limited. this dude was cute but had no idea how to talk to me. eventually, this ended with him sending me a dick pic. i couldn't have ran away fast enough. thanks for not letting me waste my time on you. here's the things, dudes: familiarize yourself with that of what a girl wants in a dick and decide whether or not yours is it. you know that porn you watch? pay attention to the dude next time. does yours look similar? then maybe send that dick pic. if it doesn't, i'd suggest not sending one.

some cool dudes 
they're cool. maybe we'll meet someday. maybe we won't. whatever.

all the dudes i matched with, initiated conversation, then was frustrated with the lack of everything
this is kind of self-explanatory. isn't this not what tinder is about? matching based on physical appearance and then hooking up/hanging out/whatever? if you don't respond, what's the point? i even played on the offensive side and initiated a conversation with every dude i matched with within a period of time. this is frustrating in itself and makes me hate online dating even more.

all of those aggressive types 
take a step back, please. i'm not a piece of meat. no, i don't want to come over. no, i don't want to be your fantasy. no, i don't want you to tell me what you want to do to me. no, i don't care of this "won't be a one time thing". what if i want it to be a one time thing? come on. there are 2 people in this. i don't really give a fuck what you think. buddy, you know nothing of the online dating world. i understand why you're here.

intentional matching of dude friends 
only to see how long it takes to match with each other while we're standing next to each other. pro tip: it took them longer to find me than it did for me to find them.

unintentional matching of dude friends 
absolutely hilarious. still laughing about it. swipe right.

unintentional matching of exes 
not hilarious, whether they are quite recent or very old. not cool, tinder. let those wounds heal. problem is, they likely were the ones to swipe right.

i gave myself 2 weeks and expected to quit. after 2 weeks, i realized that this was now a fairly decent tool to use to add to my ridiculous life stories. i began to play more and more with various techniques. i spent one day swiping right on every dude. that was probably the biggest mistake i've ever made. unlike my veteran online dating life of plenty of fish with me in a bikini picture which i used to troll dudes, my tinder profile was about as real as it gets. if dudes asked me what i was doing on tinder, i told them the truth: research - and to talk to some cool dudes. if things got a bit more serious in conversation, i'd explain how i'm recently out of a relationship.

some dudes were quite turned off by me being newly single. i don't quite understand why as it had nothing to do with them. except that maybe the odds of me sleeping with them were down about 900%. some dudes were pissed off that i was only looking to talk. one dude even had the audacity to tell me to try okcupid. yeah, fuck you. what a dumb dude.

similar to what happened before, the minute i leave the online dating world is when i'm going to find my next dude.

just give me some time.