it was the batman? no, it was actually me.

my interest in activism started when i was young. i was living a great life and i couldn't understand why everyone else was constantly complaining about things. i've always lived with a high standard of morality. and once i began intrigued with the world of social justice, equity, environmentalism, and ethics, i was hooked on all of these concepts. they fueled my desire to help others where i could and however i could -- because i always wanted what was the best choice (to each their own, of course) for everyone else.

and i guess you could say, that is what i did what i did last night.

i was on my way home from the bar and had decided to walk a fair hike for awhile to get some exercise, fresh air, clear my head, and just rock out to some tunes. a few streetcars passed me and i decided to hold off, at least for another few blocks. up ahead, i noticed what looked like a conflict going on between a dude and a girl. i was pretty far away, so i wasn't entirely sure if they were just lovingly hating each other or if something was about to go down.

when i got closer to them, i saw the dude forcefully throw the girl against a wall and really get in her face, yelling all kinds of profanity that i could hear from half a block away. i'm all for passion but this was just nonsense. i had three choices. i could have crossed the street and avoided the whole confrontation entirely. it wasn't my business to begin with. or, i could have walked past them and not said a word the entire time and continued on my way -- which seems to be a normal torontonian thing to do.

but instead, i walked up a few feet away from them and yelled. the dude reacted in the way i played it out in my head. he told me to keep on walking -- that what was going on didn't concern me. and again, i had a choice. i could keep on walking or i could do something. i told him straight up that what he was doing did concern me, as it concerned every girl on this planet. i told him she didn't look too happy with what was going on and that for the sake of his own good, he should probably stop what he's doing.

oh, this pissed him off. he walked up to me all tough and got inches away from my face, yelling and screaming at me to fuck off and so on. his breath smelled of beer. i didn't back down. i didn't flinch. i wasn't scared. i stared at him. i calmly told him that he was done here and that if he didn't leave her alone, things were not going to work out in his favour. i could see the look on his face change to a smirk. he didn't believe that i could do anything to stop him.

he went to grab my arm to push me away/down and i immediately went into self-defense mode.  this dude was much bigger than i am (but that doesn't take much). i quickly grabbed his wrist, turned it around backwards, and dug my nails into the underside of his wrist, right on the vein. it's a painful area if you do it the way i've been taught and has been a useful tactic when i've been in numerous dangerous situations. but i wouldn't have done it if he didn't try to lay a hand on me. i told him that this was enough and he was going to leave us as soon as i let go. he nodded in agreement while his face was clenched with pain. i let go and pushed him away from me in the opposite direction. he walked off holding his wrist and screaming profanities.

when it was over, the girl told me that he was a friend of a friend walking her home after the bar. they had just met. she didn't live too far away from the bar but he insisted on walking her home. she got about a block from her place when he kept asking her to come up to her place and spend the night. she wasn't interested. and then things got ugly. he told her that he had a knife and was going to hurt her. we called her friend and told her what had happened, but it turns out it wasn't actually her friend's friend, more of her friend's acquaintance. they too, had only met once or twice before. i walked the girl to her place and we notified the police to file a report.

a lot of my life has been about the "wrong place, wrong time" curse. i've been in many situations when i was younger, throughout my teens, that were seriously dangerous. but i've always handled them in a graceful matter. parties that get out of control, being chased down by a couple of dudes over a misunderstanding, being followed by strange men on numerous occasions, getting drugged and taken advantage of against my will, or even minding my own business and going shopping for an evening are just a handful of the scenarios i've encountered in my short little life. seeing the darker side of the towns and people i grew up with made me realize that as a strong woman, i was capable of doing and handling whatever situation that was thrown at me.

so, maybe batman wasn't around last night to help somebody in need. but at least i was.

what if

sometimes i wonder if i made the right choice.

i guess it really wasn't my choice to make. with the rejection from niagara and that being the only school i applied to for a post-grad, i was scrambling for something better. but it made me wonder and showed that it was almost fate that i didn't get in.

let's face it: 8 months at niagara would mean 8 more months of living at home and i definitely would not have been able to stand that. i doubt i would be learning anything about project management or getting 100% on assignments (okay, i don't know about the latter). still, i love every aspect of city life. the nightlife, the closeness, the transportation, the friends, the accessibility, and being on my own for sure rules.

i just imagine how things would be different if i didn't scramble to apply to seneca and get in -- even though it wasn't exactly what i wanted. but it's now shaping up to be something that could be beneficial to me in the long run.

i realized how different college life and university life are -- both through the atmosphere and the teaching/grading styles. yes, i'm post-grad, but fuck, if it's 8am and i just got up at 6am, i should have every right to show up in trackpants. fuck all of you for thinking otherwise. and the midterms. oh god, the midterms. i've written 4 so far with a 5th tomorrow. i fucking hate midterms. i didn't have any in my final year of university; i think the last time was in my 4th year. oh yeah, and what happened on that midterm? i scored 100% on short answer and essay questions. yeah. it was a good way to end my university midterm career. this also goes with final exams too --  i only had one final exam in my last year at brock and i did quite well.

i guess i'm just not a fan of testing. my memory, she ain't what she used to be and i find myself blanking on questions i should know... but don't. i prefer writing papers in order to collect my thoughts and ideas and apply them accordingly -- 'cause hell, i can express myself and argue my opinions pretty well! this seems no different in the marks i get from papers/reports/assignments so far. but, even my test scores are turning around. it's all just a matter of my focus at the time. if my mind is elsewhere (and it tends to be), i'm gonna do terrible. but if it's not, i'll more than likely be successful. hell week and a half is winding down to a close tomorrow and it's pretty much smooth sailing with only a few assignments to complete before final exams.

this seneca post-grad or a niagara post-grad was not what i intended. it's no applied master's, but it's going to have to work out.. for now. i just don't enjoy this all theory with no action thing. i want action with less theory!