an open letter to my loud neighbours

dear apartment 304,

i'd like to start by telling you how we've been neighbours for almost three years now. do you know what that means? it means i've been putting up with your noise for almost three years. in my first year living here, i didn't really know how to react. this was my first apartment. this was my first year in toronto. when i lived in a residence, it was easy for me to yell at my neighbours to shut the fuck up and they would hear me, despite the concrete walls separating rooms. unfortunately, no matter how much i yell through my wall at you to shut the fuck up, you never do.

see, here's the thing: you're louder than i am. i'm not loud. i'm pretty quiet. sure, i can have fun and be social. when i have conversations with friends in my apartment, i'm having a conversation, not a yelling match while we sit next to each other. and these walls? how do you not realize they are paper thin? you know all the construction they do in this building and all the noise? you have to hear it too all the time. it can't just be us.

the first year we were neighbours came and went. i put up with your shit. by the time the second year rolled around, i realized i couldn't function unless i had actually slept. i had early class. i had early work. i had a real job. i slept very lightly. between you, my roommate, and general toronto city noise, i was constantly woken up. do you remember that time you had people over at 4am on a weekday? do you remember how fucking loud you were? i bet you don't. but i sure do. you were so loud that i took a shoe and just banged the wall as loud as i could until you got the fucking memo to shut the fuck up. eventually, you did. it was at this point where i was ready to write you an extremely passive-aggressive note to shut the fuck up during weekdays. but, i held off.

i started using this "bang on the wall until you shut up" technique any time you woke me up and it was an unreasonable hour. for the most part, it worked. the only times when i didn't do this was when you were having loud sex.

remember those paper thin walls? remember how you're loud? remember how your sex is not a porno? yes, it got to a point where i could tell you were faking it. listen, lady. your boyfriend doesn't need the encouragement every single time you have sex. and also, no one has that much great sex all the time. it just doesn't happen. and yes, i know those moans and groans quite well. that's how i know you're faking it. but if i can hear you fake it, it means you're being too fucking loud. there's this thing.. i don't know if you know it, but it's called quiet sex. it's called intimate sex. i can never hear your boyfriend, so for him, it must never be that good. that's why you should definitely stop what you're doing.

this week alone, you've woken me up four different times at unreasonable hours. maybe you're yelling at someone on the phone. maybe you're having loud sex. maybe you're just yelling at each other because you can. maybe you're doing whatever it is the fuck you're doing, but still yelling at each other. that's REAL fucking annoying. even when my roommate and i have people over, you don't hear us. when my roommate and i are in my room talking, you don't hear us. when i'm having sex with a dude, you don't hear us. and i've had some great sex in this apartment. you've still never heard it.

you see, back in kindergarten, we were taught to use our indoor voices and that voices carry. were you not brought up this way? do you not understand that you are the reason why people move in on this floor and move out within the year? it's because i'm not the only neighbour you have. you also share a wall with the apartment directly across the hall from me. i can count at least five people who have moved in and moved out of that apartment over the past three years. we've run into other neighbours on this floor who complain about how loud you are. my roommate and i have come home nights only to hear you "having a party" with what is probably just the two of you and you're so loud that it just sounds like you're actually in the hallway and not in your apartment.

so, last night, when you woke me up at 2am with your loud sex, i was pissed off. i took a shoe and banged on the wall. what did you do? you didn't shut up. you actually banged on the wall back. no, i don't want to join in on your loud sex. i want you to shut the fuck up. i want to sleep without hearing it. after that, i never heard you again. and that's how it should be. i shouldn't hear you in your apartment ever.

seriously, don't make me actually print this blog post and put it in your mailbox. one more incident like this and i'm going to do it.

sincerely,
apartment 303.

a change in the lineup

officially, i have left java joes.

let's start from the beginning, shall we? my first two shifts at java joes were quite the learning experience as i was now doing things i had never done before, minus handling cash and points of sale. i probably burned myself more than i ever thought was possible and hated trying to 'serve' the public through drinks and food. i found some parts not so bad but there was a ridiculous amount to remember in a short period of time and i tried my best to stay away from the espresso machine in fear of fucking up more drinks.

the third shift i worked was a saturday which are normally very busy days at java joes and it was no different. i struggled to work at a fast pace preparing/plating food and taking orders while i was constantly yelled at from all directions of a 'better way to do' what i was doing. i became frustrated as i could not live up to anything i tried to do -- everything i did was wrong. and i was constantly reminded of how everything i was doing was wrong.

i decided that i just was not learning fast enough and i felt useless on the job. and my coworkers did not help me feeling useless. i was already aware that i wasn't exactly a hands-on type person, but i thought i might be able to overcome that if i had a job that allowed me to be hands-on. or at least try to be better at it. the 3 shifts that i worked last week were extremely busy; had it not been so busy i probably would have been able to perfect making drinks and food to at least one person's standard and would not need an entire walkthrough every time i used the espresso machine.

yesterday was my fourth shift at java joes and i talked to tonya about quitting. i told her that margaritaville was considering giving me full-time hours (not exactly a lie either) and that java joes was not the job for me. she understood and told me that she was just happy that i was willing to learn and that i was trying. i just wasn't 'born' to work in a coffee shop. i may as well have started at tim hortons and only have to push one button to make a drink. i agreed to work the thursday shift but not the friday as i need a day off. in the meantime during my shift, tonya had called up another lady, interviewed her, and hired her. at least i don't feel bad for leaving tonya short people if she was able to hire someone that quickly. that lady will also be in working her first shift on my last shift on thursday.

so, officially, i'm down to one job for the remaining weeks of the summer. margaritaville is working out great. i have no real complaints as of yet and am gaining retail sales experience. i'm happy and not stressed out any longer from java joes and i did pick up 2 pounds of coffee for my brother for free.

8 weeks and one job. i can have a life outside of work now. 10 days in a row with 1 double in the day (margaritaville in the morning and java joes in the afternoon/evening) is too much to handle. i won't be letting margaritaville know that i left java joes. since they are working around java joes schedule, i plan to be available during the week, monday through friday, and be 'working' at java joes saturday and sunday from now on.

definitely a big change in the lineup that was needed.

and the job search continues

sometimes i wish that job postings would be more descriptive so you know what it is exactly you'll be doing for most of the time.

when i'm in toronto for festivals or events, i normally see greenpeace booths set up with opinionated youngsters trying to change the world one person at a time. people at the festival who have the time to do so walk up the booth and ask questions. that's what i thought i applied for.

instead, i applied to be an annoying person on a street corner yelling at people to join greenpeace. and not only do these people have to hear me talk about issues; they have to give me money in order to sign up. yes, 'donations'. you donate to become a member. well, shit. on my way to the interview, i passed by two people handing out flyers or yelling at me to come talk to them about things. of course, i walked by them with no eye contact because i didn't want to be bothered. if i take the job, i'll be on the other end of this scenario and hating every minute of it. even if i do get to talk to people about the issues i care about, i know i would absolutely hate trying to get them to give me money... to give greenpeace money.. in order to become a member.

the lady who interviewed me explained what i would be doing and i was immediately turned off from the job. politely, i completed the interview that had a bunch of questions i was never asked before in any interview. one of the last deal breakers was the fact that if the weather doesn't hold (if it's raining, thunderstorming, or 40 degrees) i don't work and i won't be paid for the day. and with the way the weather has been going lately, it seems like i'd work like twice a week. if they offer me a position, i should hear back in about a week and a half.

i still have yet to hear from any of my interviews. lanark dude, who said he was going to call regardless if i got the job or not has yet to call (and he wanted me to start this coming monday). adidas still has a week or so before they make a decision. build a bear workshop was supposed to get back to me yesterday and they didn't. i have also received no calls about any other jobs recently that i have applied for.

at least toronto was a good time and i saw some friends. next friday, i officially will get my degree handed to me and will have graduated. the week after that, i have to pay my tuition to seneca. that might pose a bit of a problem when i haven't worked for the whole month of may and so far the first few days of june.