i once dated a dude who had his life together.
at the time, my life was far from together. all i remember thinking whenever we hung out was that i couldn't be with this dude because, well, he had his life together and i didn't. he had a steady job he liked. he had an income that allowed him to have a car in the city and live in a fancy apartment without struggling to pay his bills. and me? i was trying to figure life out as a starving post-grad living in the city for the first time. the kicker was that he didn't go to school and he was my age, yet had all of this, life togetherness, the thing i've been yearning for since birth, figured out already.
in conversations with friends, i'd mention how he wasn't the only dude i was dating at the time. but i'd also mention how different each of the dudes i was dating at the time were and how they each made me feel differently. i liked hanging out with him and the sex was incredible. but as time wore on, i had every excuse waiting for the inevitable ride home and not let him spend the night. where was this future going? is that what we were even doing? past relationships and the future of us were never discussed, but with him, i wasn't sure a future would even be possible. i couldn't understand what it was that kept him coming back to me. i was always available and yet, we still didn't even manage to hang as much as one would've thought since i started to lean away from him and into another dude where a future seemed more likely.
so when that other dude didn't end up the way it was meant to be, mr. life together was still hanging out, waiting for me. and as i was still picking up the pieces of myself, he sat me down for the first time and asked me where things were going. he talked to me about settling and i stared at him, nearly dropping my beer in disbelief. why now? why me? my life, at this time, was even less together than it ever was and he was willing to see past all of that. although he was not aware of my recent fall out with the other dude, (of which the two of them managed to meet once and i was essentially scared and couldn't stop grinning the entire time) he had no idea that i was not in any shape to settle down with anyone, even someone as loving and forgiving as he had been to me over the course of our dating life. i shook my head. i wouldn't and couldn't rebound into him. that wouldn't be fair to anyone involved.
the next time we hung out, i had no excuses to not bring him home with me. unfortunately, he did. and i couldn't even fight it. he had made his choice and i had made mine. what i didn't know then, was that dudes with their life together are uhh.. elusive and don't come around very often.
the irony of this story is that back when my life was an entire fuck up of epic proportions was also the time when i was at the peak of desirability. my life (and me) needed saving and each of the dudes i had picked for that saving either made things better or worse, depending on the timing and situation. and now that i'm mildly self sufficient and have my life together? i don't need to be saved anymore, i just need someone around to open jars and reach items on the top shelf.
last year, i ran into mr. life together on two separate occasions where he was attending with his girlfriend but she wasn't with him when we exchanged pleasantries. unfortunately, i'm not a girl who waits around for dudes.
it wasn't me back then and it's not me now; i think i've come to terms with that.
but i'd probably throw that all away in a second for one more chance to hold his hand.
Showing posts with label beer. Show all posts
Showing posts with label beer. Show all posts
May 23, 2014
Apr 6, 2014
baseball is back and so are baseball bros
after what felt like the longest winter ever, baseball is finally back and i'm pretty happy about that.
this year, i had the privilege of going to the first night of opening weekend at skydome for the jays vs yankees. with a sold out crowd of over 48,000 screaming fans, it was an experience, to say the least.
now, depending on how often you read my blog and how well you actually know me, let's get one things straight: i like sports, but i love baseball. i wouldn't say i hate hockey but i'll watch it and occasionally follow it if something that isn't the leafs piques my interest, especially if i land tickets for a game. i follow basketball and the raptors as much as i can and try to get to a game a season. but baseball? that's my game. i lose track of how many games i end up going to in a season and occasionally play in fantasy baseball pools. yes, i know baseball. and yes, i know that blurs the line of stereotypical gender roles, but i think i crossed that line 25 years ago.
most games, you'll see me there with my brother. we share the same passion for baseball and the same disgust for humanity when we go to games. baseball bros. baseball bros everywhere. my brother and i are two tiny people. we like quiet things and lost our rowdiness phase long ago. we talk baseball and i look around at the rest of the fans in our section who are more inclined to chirp players or talk about how hot the girls sitting in the next row are.
yes, attractive people go to games. not all of them are going to be that interested in baseball or know anything about baseball, but it's a social activity that everyone should try once. people who enjoy baseball are going to be more than willing to explain things going on to someone that doesn't understand what's happening. and most likely, we're not going to try to make a move on you while we're explaining the rules to you; unless you ask a baseball bro.
what i've noticed in the amount of games i've been to is that, if you're a baseball bro, you're one for life. you get really drunk at the game. you might actually know things about the game, but most of the time, you don't. you yell and scream when bad plays happen. you talk louder than everyone else. you white boy dance and carry on. you check out every hot girl around you. you spend more time hanging out in lines getting beer and checking out girls not in the stands rather than watching the game. you probably came to the game with like 6 other baseball bros who are all doing the same thing. you're more likely to jump on the field streaking. you're more likely to get complaints and be escorted out of the game. you're more likely to be hated by everyone around you. and you're everywhere, in every section, whether you're in the lower 100s or upper 500s.
since i've grown up in an era of mindfulness and rampant femininity/masculinity, i can safely say that i've never been attracted to a baseball bro, or wanted to be. it's toxic masculinity, and these are the kinds of people i don't need in my life. these baseball bros are typically the dudes who use terrible pick up lines to pick up girls at the game. these are the dudes that believe because girls are looking at them, that the girls are interested in them.
as i stood in one of the beer lines on friday, i looked around to realize i was the only girl standing in either of these beer lines. a tv hooked up to the wall is playing the game, so i'm turned around to watch it while i wait in line. when i look back, the older, bald man with a pot belly standing in front of me is smiling at me and attempts to talk to me. i awkwardly small talk with him and turn back to watch the game. just then, two baseball bros get in line directly behind me and talk about how they aren't going to be able to make it to the club tonight. they drunkenly discuss logistic planning of how they're getting home and the one makes a comment about how i'm glued to the screen. i simply smile and quietly reply that i like baseball. they stop talking to me and go back to checking out the girls walking by. i turn back around to see the beer line hasn't moved and security is removing a guy from the line because he's too drunk and is causing a scene. the two guys behind me panic and wonder if they are also too drunk. they decide they are and leave the line.
i get a beer and head back to my seat, passing by all kinds of baseball bros on the way who are standing around checking out girls, most of them rating the girls as they walk by. i'm sorry, when did this become okay to do? this is not a club. most of these girls aren't here to get laid. what are the chances you're actually going to pick up a girl doing this? you know that thing.. where you actually have to talk to girls to have sex with them? this is not the place where you can just grind up behind a girl and take her home with you (although i wouldn't be surprised if this started happening at jays games in the future). i'm sure i was rated a 2 because i wasn't in a jays jersey with leggings and uggs and long hair and a jays hat and wasn't drunk and wasn't checking out the dudes rating girls as they walked by. but that's totally okay, because if i was rating those dudes too, they'd also be about a 2. i go to a jays game so i can watch baseball, not try to pick up a dude. and yes, there are A LOT of attractive dudes at these games
i waited to get back to my seat and watched as 2 drunken, belligerent dudes weren't listening to the staff member at the top of the stairs who told everyone to wait until the play was over to go back to their seats. the one sneaks by the staff member while the other is stopped by the staff member. the dude who is stopped then makes an extremely rude and racist comment to the staff member and all i wanted to do was punch the bro for his remark. i was impressed by the staff member who was probably around my age, for holding his own and not becoming upset about this drunken bro's comment. i imagine this wouldn't be the only time some drunk bro would be yelling racist comments at him during the season, and i actually felt bad.
later on, i noticed two more drunken, belligerent dudes making a scene about changing seats. these guys had to be at least mid-40s and were more drunk than any of the young bros in my section. one of them nearly wipes out going up the stairs. once a bro, always a bro.
just.. pay attention to the game.. please. you have better odds that the jays will win the game than you successfully picking up a hot girl at the game.
this year, i had the privilege of going to the first night of opening weekend at skydome for the jays vs yankees. with a sold out crowd of over 48,000 screaming fans, it was an experience, to say the least.
now, depending on how often you read my blog and how well you actually know me, let's get one things straight: i like sports, but i love baseball. i wouldn't say i hate hockey but i'll watch it and occasionally follow it if something that isn't the leafs piques my interest, especially if i land tickets for a game. i follow basketball and the raptors as much as i can and try to get to a game a season. but baseball? that's my game. i lose track of how many games i end up going to in a season and occasionally play in fantasy baseball pools. yes, i know baseball. and yes, i know that blurs the line of stereotypical gender roles, but i think i crossed that line 25 years ago.
most games, you'll see me there with my brother. we share the same passion for baseball and the same disgust for humanity when we go to games. baseball bros. baseball bros everywhere. my brother and i are two tiny people. we like quiet things and lost our rowdiness phase long ago. we talk baseball and i look around at the rest of the fans in our section who are more inclined to chirp players or talk about how hot the girls sitting in the next row are.
yes, attractive people go to games. not all of them are going to be that interested in baseball or know anything about baseball, but it's a social activity that everyone should try once. people who enjoy baseball are going to be more than willing to explain things going on to someone that doesn't understand what's happening. and most likely, we're not going to try to make a move on you while we're explaining the rules to you; unless you ask a baseball bro.
what i've noticed in the amount of games i've been to is that, if you're a baseball bro, you're one for life. you get really drunk at the game. you might actually know things about the game, but most of the time, you don't. you yell and scream when bad plays happen. you talk louder than everyone else. you white boy dance and carry on. you check out every hot girl around you. you spend more time hanging out in lines getting beer and checking out girls not in the stands rather than watching the game. you probably came to the game with like 6 other baseball bros who are all doing the same thing. you're more likely to jump on the field streaking. you're more likely to get complaints and be escorted out of the game. you're more likely to be hated by everyone around you. and you're everywhere, in every section, whether you're in the lower 100s or upper 500s.
since i've grown up in an era of mindfulness and rampant femininity/masculinity, i can safely say that i've never been attracted to a baseball bro, or wanted to be. it's toxic masculinity, and these are the kinds of people i don't need in my life. these baseball bros are typically the dudes who use terrible pick up lines to pick up girls at the game. these are the dudes that believe because girls are looking at them, that the girls are interested in them.
as i stood in one of the beer lines on friday, i looked around to realize i was the only girl standing in either of these beer lines. a tv hooked up to the wall is playing the game, so i'm turned around to watch it while i wait in line. when i look back, the older, bald man with a pot belly standing in front of me is smiling at me and attempts to talk to me. i awkwardly small talk with him and turn back to watch the game. just then, two baseball bros get in line directly behind me and talk about how they aren't going to be able to make it to the club tonight. they drunkenly discuss logistic planning of how they're getting home and the one makes a comment about how i'm glued to the screen. i simply smile and quietly reply that i like baseball. they stop talking to me and go back to checking out the girls walking by. i turn back around to see the beer line hasn't moved and security is removing a guy from the line because he's too drunk and is causing a scene. the two guys behind me panic and wonder if they are also too drunk. they decide they are and leave the line.
i get a beer and head back to my seat, passing by all kinds of baseball bros on the way who are standing around checking out girls, most of them rating the girls as they walk by. i'm sorry, when did this become okay to do? this is not a club. most of these girls aren't here to get laid. what are the chances you're actually going to pick up a girl doing this? you know that thing.. where you actually have to talk to girls to have sex with them? this is not the place where you can just grind up behind a girl and take her home with you (although i wouldn't be surprised if this started happening at jays games in the future). i'm sure i was rated a 2 because i wasn't in a jays jersey with leggings and uggs and long hair and a jays hat and wasn't drunk and wasn't checking out the dudes rating girls as they walked by. but that's totally okay, because if i was rating those dudes too, they'd also be about a 2. i go to a jays game so i can watch baseball, not try to pick up a dude. and yes, there are A LOT of attractive dudes at these games
i waited to get back to my seat and watched as 2 drunken, belligerent dudes weren't listening to the staff member at the top of the stairs who told everyone to wait until the play was over to go back to their seats. the one sneaks by the staff member while the other is stopped by the staff member. the dude who is stopped then makes an extremely rude and racist comment to the staff member and all i wanted to do was punch the bro for his remark. i was impressed by the staff member who was probably around my age, for holding his own and not becoming upset about this drunken bro's comment. i imagine this wouldn't be the only time some drunk bro would be yelling racist comments at him during the season, and i actually felt bad.
later on, i noticed two more drunken, belligerent dudes making a scene about changing seats. these guys had to be at least mid-40s and were more drunk than any of the young bros in my section. one of them nearly wipes out going up the stairs. once a bro, always a bro.
just.. pay attention to the game.. please. you have better odds that the jays will win the game than you successfully picking up a hot girl at the game.
Aug 24, 2013
ain't doing well, well, well, i am only doing just fine
for me, technology has a lifespan of about 4 years. at the end of january, my flip phone officially died. it was the end of an era. i had to switch over to a touch screen that i still hate.
on august 10th, my laptop, which i've also had for about 4 years, kicked the bucket. i knew it was coming since about january when i ran diagnostics with a friend and figured out that my hard drive was dying. but it was just one section. he told me to do a bunch of stuff which i never ended up doing because, well, i'm a procrastinator. what i did do was backup the majority of my files and important stuff manually that day, since my auto-backup would stop working as soon as it hit the bad sector. the problem was, i never updated all of my shit since then. so although i didn't lose too much (and most can be re-downloaded again), i did lose most of my schoolwork.
see, this would've been a bit of a problem to be without a laptop for a few days. but remember how i got a job? a real job? yeah, when i started that job on august 12th, i became the new owner of a work laptop. this tied me over until i received a new laptop on august 19th. life has a strange way of working out for me the past few weeks. i guess that makes up for just how shitty july was.
i have to admit that my first week of work was a bit overwhelming. there was so much to know, but so many perks of the job -- like playing xbox, friday beer hours, cakes & cupcakes for office birthdays, random snacks & food mostly every day, and so on. it's really a modern take on the whole office vibe. plus, it seems like a very laid back environment. i never once got the feeling of any hostility.. not like the metrolinx office (which still makes me cringe thinking about it!)
by the end of the second week and the completion of several projects, i was feeling more confident in my role, what needs to be done, how it needs to be done, and my excel abilities. my confidence was reinforced when i was told i did an excellent job at the projects i finished. so, as of next week, they're throwing me into the deep end and letting me swim - i'm on my own for the most part. this is nearly 2 weeks earlier than they anticipated for the training process. my role now also includes a big project i get to design & deliver, as well as a deeper analysis portion in one of my weekly projects. i'm actually pretty excited for those parts of the job!
in other exciting news, i won tickets to riot fest this weekend, so i've got a busy two days. i won VIP tickets last year - but unfortunately, these aren't VIP. poop.
bring on the $9 PBRs!
on august 10th, my laptop, which i've also had for about 4 years, kicked the bucket. i knew it was coming since about january when i ran diagnostics with a friend and figured out that my hard drive was dying. but it was just one section. he told me to do a bunch of stuff which i never ended up doing because, well, i'm a procrastinator. what i did do was backup the majority of my files and important stuff manually that day, since my auto-backup would stop working as soon as it hit the bad sector. the problem was, i never updated all of my shit since then. so although i didn't lose too much (and most can be re-downloaded again), i did lose most of my schoolwork.
see, this would've been a bit of a problem to be without a laptop for a few days. but remember how i got a job? a real job? yeah, when i started that job on august 12th, i became the new owner of a work laptop. this tied me over until i received a new laptop on august 19th. life has a strange way of working out for me the past few weeks. i guess that makes up for just how shitty july was.
i have to admit that my first week of work was a bit overwhelming. there was so much to know, but so many perks of the job -- like playing xbox, friday beer hours, cakes & cupcakes for office birthdays, random snacks & food mostly every day, and so on. it's really a modern take on the whole office vibe. plus, it seems like a very laid back environment. i never once got the feeling of any hostility.. not like the metrolinx office (which still makes me cringe thinking about it!)
by the end of the second week and the completion of several projects, i was feeling more confident in my role, what needs to be done, how it needs to be done, and my excel abilities. my confidence was reinforced when i was told i did an excellent job at the projects i finished. so, as of next week, they're throwing me into the deep end and letting me swim - i'm on my own for the most part. this is nearly 2 weeks earlier than they anticipated for the training process. my role now also includes a big project i get to design & deliver, as well as a deeper analysis portion in one of my weekly projects. i'm actually pretty excited for those parts of the job!
in other exciting news, i won tickets to riot fest this weekend, so i've got a busy two days. i won VIP tickets last year - but unfortunately, these aren't VIP. poop.
bring on the $9 PBRs!
Apr 3, 2012
they shoot unemployed people, don't they?
i had my interview with steamwhistle on monday for retail and event staff.
there were about 50 people, more or less, in the group interview. i was terrified on the inside but not so much on the outside. when everyone introduced themselves, i felt extremely discouraged. so many of these people were definitely more experienced in life, work, school, travel, whatever, than me. there were a few others that i knew i was better than them. but i still didn't feel as though i had much of a chance.
it started off with introductions; went onto a game of improv/charades (of which i didn't get a time to participate.. grr); then a brewery tour (with a beer in hand, of course); followed by breaking off into groups to create a steamwhistle commercial (something i've definitely done before); and ended with a brief Q&A. it was at the end of it all when they said that they were hiring for at most 12 positions, and there was a second group interview happening right after mine was finished. son of a bitch.
pretty much knowing i didn't have a chance, i had another 2 beers during the rest of the interview. i didn't care at this point. i didn't have any hopes -- and i was totally okay with that. it's not exactly what i'm looking for, even for a shitty summer job. and to no avail, i received the rejection email early this afternoon. sometimes, like a really fucking horrible first date, you just know things aren't going to work out in your favour. so fuck it all, i'm just gonna drink some beer. i'm sort of glad i found out today and not like, the end of the week, or never -- like the majority of niagara employers.
the better news was that i got an email/callback from mama earth organics to set up an interview. so i hope that goes over smoothly. this place is definitely more my style of things. it would be swell if i could find something soon-ish. my bank account moneys are gettin' pretty low.
the job hunt continues.
there were about 50 people, more or less, in the group interview. i was terrified on the inside but not so much on the outside. when everyone introduced themselves, i felt extremely discouraged. so many of these people were definitely more experienced in life, work, school, travel, whatever, than me. there were a few others that i knew i was better than them. but i still didn't feel as though i had much of a chance.
it started off with introductions; went onto a game of improv/charades (of which i didn't get a time to participate.. grr); then a brewery tour (with a beer in hand, of course); followed by breaking off into groups to create a steamwhistle commercial (something i've definitely done before); and ended with a brief Q&A. it was at the end of it all when they said that they were hiring for at most 12 positions, and there was a second group interview happening right after mine was finished. son of a bitch.
pretty much knowing i didn't have a chance, i had another 2 beers during the rest of the interview. i didn't care at this point. i didn't have any hopes -- and i was totally okay with that. it's not exactly what i'm looking for, even for a shitty summer job. and to no avail, i received the rejection email early this afternoon. sometimes, like a really fucking horrible first date, you just know things aren't going to work out in your favour. so fuck it all, i'm just gonna drink some beer. i'm sort of glad i found out today and not like, the end of the week, or never -- like the majority of niagara employers.
the better news was that i got an email/callback from mama earth organics to set up an interview. so i hope that goes over smoothly. this place is definitely more my style of things. it would be swell if i could find something soon-ish. my bank account moneys are gettin' pretty low.
the job hunt continues.
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